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This is the most bemusingly whispery, chair-bound, arm-foldy, cigar-chomping manifestation of Seagal that I have ever seen! While it would be more than fair to say Bressack's 'Beyond The Law' is just another generically gun-happy, pee'd off papa pugilist on a righteously vengeful blood-rampage B-actioner, Beyond The Law's Alpha saltiness was pleasurably sweetened by the luridly luscious, long-legged lollipop Saxon Sharbino! But they really should have done a bit more with primo 80s head-knocker Patrick Kilpatrick, jus' sayin'. As a lapsed Seagallion I find much of his recent output fairly onerous, but this latest inert incarnation of an almost entirely sedentary Seagal is an unexpectedly appealing one!This is the most bemusingly whispery, chair-bound, arm-foldy, cigar-chomping manifestation of Seagal that I have ever seen! While it would be more than fair to say Bressack's 'Beyond The Law' is just another generically gun-happy, pee'd off papa pugilist on a righteously vengeful blood-rampage B-actioner, Beyond The Law's Alpha saltiness was pleasurably sweetened by the luridly luscious, long-legged lollipop Saxon Sharbino! But they really should have done a bit more with primo 80s head-knocker Patrick Kilpatrick, jus' sayin'. As a lapsed Seagallion I find much of his recent output fairly onerous, but this latest inert incarnation of an almost entirely sedentary Seagal is an unexpectedly appealing one!
With DMX appearing more awkward than usual, having stern, gravelly-voiced hunk Johnnny Messner make with all the brutal bone-breaking shizz was a solid move. With everyone in 'Beyond The law' being propah skeezey, pathos is pretty low, plus the Rizla-thin plot does little to disguise the overall lack of invention, and yet, in spite of all that negative energy, 'Beyond The Law' proved itself to be a pretty likeable, lunk-headed B-Actioner. Hey!! while 'Beyond The Law' sounds like a vintage Seagal movie, it felt more like an undercooked Frank Grillo! After all that facetious jibber-jabber, I'm certainly up for the sequel 'Beyond The Commode'...'They stole the wrong geezer's poopy potty!'...Hell!!! I'd even be up for the inevitable Seagal in an Iron Lung movie, 'someone wasted his family and he WILL take it lying down!' Did I already mention that sublime sex-siren Saxon Sharbino slinked saucily across the screen like a hypnotically hardbodied, blissfully bottomed boss?
With DMX appearing more awkward than usual, having stern, gravelly-voiced hunk Johnnny Messner make with all the brutal bone-breaking shizz was a solid move. With everyone in 'Beyond The law' being propah skeezey, pathos is pretty low, plus the Rizla-thin plot does little to disguise the overall lack of invention, and yet, in spite of all that negative energy, 'Beyond The Law' proved itself to be a pretty likeable, lunk-headed B-Actioner. Hey!! while 'Beyond The Law' sounds like a vintage Seagal movie, it felt more like an undercooked Frank Grillo! After all that facetious jibber-jabber, I'm certainly up for the sequel 'Beyond The Commode'...'They stole the wrong geezer's poopy potty!'...Hell!!! I'd even be up for the inevitable Seagal in an Iron Lung movie, 'someone wasted his family and he WILL take it lying down!' Did I already mention that sublime sex-siren Saxon Sharbino slinked saucily across the screen like a hypnotically hardbodied, blissfully bottomed boss?