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Making a porno - a photo diary (NSFW)

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  • #46
    You can make an offer to Kaufman but I'm 99.999% sure he would never appear in an adult film. Despite what he told Joe Rubin, he denies that he ever did porn to other people. Also I serious doubt Kaufman is SAG, I think most of his roles are done for free, just to get publicity. And, I don't believe SAG rules apply to porn productions.

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    • #47
      Im sure youre right that Kaufman wouldn't. It wouldn't be the first bit of misinformation in that book, but in Kaufmans Make Your own Damn Movie book he says that "even I'm a member of sag" as a way of disparaging them. I'm also not sure whether SAG would prevent a member from appearing in a porno. I would actually assume they would. They seem to be testing how ridiculously prohibitive they can get.
      "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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      • #48
        Additional thought: Assuming Lloyd is telling the truth when he says he's a SAG member then he's breaking all the time by being in his own films which are definitely not SAG productions. I was just running the idea of casting Ron in the film past my producer. Got this response: "He also suffers from narcolepsy so keep his time on set short and sweet. I'm not exaggerating he can collapse and sleep any time!" Probably common knowledge but new to me.
        "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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        • #49
          There's a movie out there, I believe it's called Ron Jeremy Does Las Vegas or something to that effect, where he goes back to the room with a young couple. They start getting it on and you assume he's going to join in - but instead he falls asleep in a chair and they keep going at it.

          When I met him a few years ago I had him sign the DVD.
          Rock! Shock! Pop!

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          • #50
            Agents:



            That's Mark Spiegler, famed in story and song as the Ari Gold of the porn world. He only represents women and the girls on his books are pretty much all major names. Asa Akira, Angela White etc etc. They're Spiegler's girls and proudly advertise themselves as such. He keeps 30 on his books at any one time, no more, no less. I'm told he lives in a big Melrose Place style block, which he owns, and he rents the other flats in the block to his girls and they all live together as one big, happy porno family. I have no point to this back story but I'm telling it anyway because in the next life I want to come back as Mark Spiegler. It's why I 've recently gone Buddhist.

            "When does this production take place and where?"

            I'm not sure what I expected from porno agents but what I've got is not it. The above is the entire contents of an email I just recieved from Rons agent. It seems reasonable, right? Brief but reasonable. Except I've already sent him the date and location three times. It is, in fact, in the fucking email that he is replying to. In bold even. And this is in response to my sending him a screenshot of the down payment on Rons appearance in the film for which Ron had already agreed on the date and location. And this is typical.

            Up front people told me, "don't worry these are all real people. This is, at it's heart, a business like any other". It may be a business, sure, but ultimately its a business like Jimmy the crackddealer, who lives down the road and hangs his sneakers over the telephone wire as his calling card, is a business. The lack of basic professionalism is kind of breathtaking.

            What I'm trying to say is, if you have any kind of business or people skills head to LA and fucking take the industry over. I'm firmly convinced that anyone with any sort of vision could turn the thing on it's head just by approaching it with a decent work ethic and basic competence. If I wasn't stuck in Oz I'd do it myself.
            "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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            • #51
              Depressing day today. Today was supposed to be the first day on set shooting this thing. Just checking my schedule as to what I was suppossed to be shooting today. It was a lot of stuff, shooting a feature in 6 days after all, but the highlight was a lengthy comedy montage where I show passing time by dissolving in and out of brief sequences of Kira Noir and Seth Gamble having sex in every concievable position in every part of their apartment finishing with them in the infamous Bat-Girl position. I was genuinely curious about how you actually get into position to start with. I had no plans but I figured they'd know.

              So the films probably dead. I lost about $10k in non refundable flights, costuming, SFX, deposit on Ron Jeremy etc. I hold out hope of maybe remounting it when international travel is allowed again but no quarantees of anything at the moment. My gal had a fun thought the other day. What if we make 2 films at the same time? Jess Franco it and shoot two films back to back with the same cast and crew and similar locations. Might make it more do-able financially... I don't know but it's a fun thought so have started a deep space Species meets Alien meets Red Dwarf porno comedy about a bunch of homesick and horny space cadets (in boith senses of the term) who get sexed to death by a hot alien. It's hard to motivate to write at the moment so I alternate days. One day writing, the next day working on the films sepcial effects. They're looking pretty good I think:





              "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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              • #52
                "Failure is not the end. It's the start of a new path." Alejandro Jodorowsky.
                "Ah! By god's balls what licentiousness!"

                Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom.

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                • #53
                  I like the idea of Franco-ing it. Those FX pieces do look good, Dom!
                  Rock! Shock! Pop!

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                  • #54
                    Maybe hope springs again on this project. Going to LA is likely never going to be a realistic option for me again. I just don't have the ability to take that time away from my duties. 18 months ago there was no chance of putting together a good cast locally. BUT a side effect of Covid is that there are now a LOT more people filming themselves having sex for profit. Basically it seems like huge number of escorts or even just influencers have switched to Only Fans. Often they do a very professional job. I saw a shoot the other day where a whole pack of guys and gals hired themselves a resort on the Gold Coast and went and shot with each other in various combinations in these exotic locations and made the content available to each other on their Only Fans. Im not sure how open they are to doing a film but it doesn't seem like a massive leap and given the number of them there are now there seems to be a deep pool to draw from.

                    Still have to wait for Covid to die down but already finishing off a much simpler, shorter script. Building some prototype fx and talking to foam manufacturers about building spaceship interior sets. Gives me something to do right now even if it ultimately turns out not to be possible.

                    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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                    • #55
                      I don't have a cast anymore and I don't have the money to make the movie anyway. I go a little nuts when I don't have a creative project in front of me though. I haven't had one since closing our burlesque bar. This has been bad on a mental health front... For that reason the girlfriend and I decided to return to this project. We've set the shoot date for a generous 11 months time and we're going to trust in the universe to make things come together this time. Considering how the universe fucked me over last time I figure it owes me. In December her dance studios are empty so we'll have masses of space then to build sets and create a sci fi world to shoot in. With that in mind I've started constructing bits and pieces of the set to throw together later. First more-or-less, roughly finished piece. A generic but touchably chunky and round sci fi doorway for our heroines apartment. I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm happy with how its coming anyway. Next onto the windows.



                      "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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                      • #56
                        What did you make those out of?
                        Rock! Shock! Pop!

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Ian Jane View Post
                          What did you make those out of?
                          Extruded Polstyrene (XPS). It's good stuff. Very workable.

                          Work has continued on this. First thing I did was build a big hunk of window. Its 3 metres by 2.4 so it will take a goodly chunk of my set. Im going to do the window the old fashioned Hitchcock way. Get some big matte paintings to stick behind it rather than fussing around with green screen and that sort of nonsense. The hands on process of building a set has kind turned my mind away from computers and modern effects to doing it all old school, which I think will be much more satisfying to watch. None of those annoying matte lines that you see on actors everytime they walk in front of a window these days. I love Avenue 5 but those faint, flickery lines drove me nuts, although I suspect people who don't do effects barely notice them.





                          Then I built a door for the doorway. This was a nightmare of glue.i got myself in a mess and wound up having to stick all the pieces together with their faces into the floor- upside down. Had no idea if id done a good job or not till this morning when I flipped round the dried door and it looked this. I'm happy with this.





                          Then I sealed and primed the doorway I built. I'm still trying to pick a colour scheme. I seem to lack instincts on this front. I get a clear picture in my head and then i go to the shop and stand in front of the huge dulux colour wall, with its 200 shades of pink alone, and go completely blank. Trying to get my girlfriend to take this side of it in hand. She is reticent.



                          I've also picked a lead actress. Haven't made an approach because the shoot is still months away but relieved to have found someone local who would be great in it. Means they are out there. Plus instagram shows me we have a bunch of mutual friends which should make introductions easy. Introductions are hard in this world because if you're making a porno everyone assumes you're a freak, which is a fair assumption on their part, but I think in my case not quite true.
                          Last edited by Dom D; 02-22-2023, 10:08 PM.
                          "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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                          • #58
                            Hi Dom, I'd never seen this thread before but just read it all. Wow, what an odyssey!

                            I'm from Melbourne myself yet have lived in the US for quite a while. No surprises at all that it's been hard to connect "industry" people and they're flaky. It's not just the porno people in LA who are flaky. It's a very odd, fragmented, not terribly embracing town (unless you're handing out millions) and 95% of people are all facade and all talk.

                            I hope your next attempt at making things happen works and you don't lose your shirt. Unfortunately, nobody could have foreseen COVID and the draconian travel restrictions Australia would institute.

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                            • #59
                              Originally posted by AngelGuts View Post
                              It's not just the porno people in LA who are flaky. It's a very odd, fragmented, not terribly embracing town (unless you're handing out millions) and 95% of people are all facade and all talk.
                              It is a difficult world to get a first foot into. Definitely flakey but, yes, also very unfriendly. Always felt I was dealing with a lot of suspicion which is understandable, there's a lot of people who are there to exploit. I think the industries gone so far in one direction that the idea that I am just trying to make a movie that I would want to watch seems too naive to be taken seriously. Hopefully the local scene is more approachable. I'm following a couple locals on their social medias and they very much see themselves as entrepreneurs so hopefully with them it can be approached it that kind of professional manner. Much as I hated dealing with the LA agents though I wish the locals had agents too now.

                              Today, woodwork! I know nothing about woodworking and wasn't planning on doing any. I figured I could build and paint all the set walls and then get a carpenter at the end to build all the frames to stick the walls to. Turns out that doesn't work. The material I'm using for the walls bends but the polysterene I'm sticking on them doesn't. So everytime I move the walls the polysterene stretches its glue and repositions itself. So today I need to build timber frames to keep the walls rigid. Doing it the old old fashioned way. Timber, nails, and a handsaw because I'm not going near power tools. I'd just lose a finger.

                              I think I've posted this on this board somewhere before but it belongs here. Some preproduction effects tests:



                              Also dicking around with poster ideas with apologies to Emmaanuelle 2 who's tagline I stole. To be fair it suits my film better. X was often like Emmanuelle 2. I mean there's Emmanuelle 1 just for a start:


                              Last edited by Dom D; 03-02-2023, 05:03 PM.
                              "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

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                              • #60
                                I admire the ambition here. What are you going to do with all the props/sets you've built once the movie is over? You could have a second, space themed guest house or something!
                                Rock! Shock! Pop!

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