31 days of Horror part 4: Citizens on Patrol

[Jason C Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jason C]

The House of the Devil (USA, 2009) 3/10
I was prepared for a slow burn, but holy hell, House of the Devil took way to long to get where it was obviously going and there wasn't enough to make it interesting. I feel like it was hour of watching some young girl wander around. I suppose because there are just enough nuggets to tip off where the film is going that the impeding dread was should have sufficed, but something was missing. I was just as bored the protagonist.


Bram Stoker's Dracula (USA, 1992) 8/10
What a beautiful film. I'm in awe of every frame. While Anthony Hopkins and Gary Oldman are a delight its such a shame that Keanu and Winona Ryder were cast. They are so out place that its a constant distraction.


Delta Delta Die! (USA, 2003) 6/10
I was looking for a decent T&A horror comedy to end the night and this didn't suck near as bad as expected. Bummer that Tiffany Shepis is just in a minor eye candy role but Julie Strain is unhinged. Its fun for what it is.

[Matt H. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Matt H.]

DRACULA (1979) - I love how we're all on a Dracula kick; I'd never seen this one before and it's pretty good. A little boring in places, but you could think of it as an early example of a re-imagining. All of the elements of the Stoker tale are here, but they're tweaked slightly and it makes the movie a bit more interesting because of it. It obviously had a huge budget and the production design is extraordinary; Dracula's castle is particularly amazing. A few nice moments of gore, too; a couple throat-rippings, a dead baby and, my favourite, Dracula twisting Renfield's head all the way around.

[Gary Banks Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gary Banks]

01)Pigeons From Hell-Thriller
02)Madhouse(1974)
03)Horror Island
04)The Skull
05)The Robot Vs The Aztec Mummy
06)Delirium (2018)
07)Curse Of The Doll People
08)Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
09)Midnight Man(US)
010)Midnight Man (UK)
011)Xtro
012)Destination Inner Space
013)Jeepers Creepers III 6.5-I know what the director has done, and despise him for that. OTOH, he does make a damn creepy flick or franchise here. Rented it, sent it back and am going to take a shower.

[agent999 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close agent999]

Day 17.5 The Ghost Galleon

So many people think this is the weakest, but this is my favourite of the Blind Dead series: Timewarps, shit miniatures, Barbara Rey in a little black floral dress/matching bikini, that dick professor in a sweater that Ed Wood would kill for, a creaky ship, swimming dead etc. etc. Good times. I'm sure that John Carpenter watched this one while blazing a fatty before he made The Fog.

[Newt Cox Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newt Cox]

Day 17.5 The Ghost Galleon

So many people think this is the weakest, but this is my favourite of the Blind Dead series: Timewarps, shit miniatures, Barbara Rey in a little black floral dress/matching bikini, that dick professor in a sweater that Ed Wood would kill for, a creaky ship, swimming dead etc. etc. Good times. I'm sure that John Carpenter watched this one while blazing a fatty before he made The Fog.

That was the first of the Blind Dead series I saw. And is my favorite from that series.



Title-The Terror
Source-VHS and Elvira's Movie Macabre DVD

The Terror is a film I had been reading/hearing about since I was a young child. All the books about horror movies in my school and the local library mentioned it. Mostly cause it has an early role for Jack Nicholson. And cause it is one of Boris Karloff's later roles.

Somehow even with the film being in the public domain and having piles of releases I didn't see it until a few years ago. Back about 7 years ago when Elvira revived her Elvira's Movie Macabre show. To keep the budget down she was only showing public domain films. And the Terror is one of the better known horror PD movies. So at like 2am I watched The Terror for the first time.

Going into the film I knew that it was filmed on sets leftover from the Roger Corman film The Haunted Palace and the Raven. Corman had some money left over from the budget of another film. So he hired Boris Karloff for 3 days and made a movie. I knew that lots of people had supposedly directed parts of this movie. With names like Francis Ford Coppala,Monte Hellman,Jack Hill,Jack Nicholson and Roger Corman all having directed parts.

Thankfully I knew this going in,cause of so many people working on the film,it being 2am and me being tired and the script supposedly being "A very bare bones outline. With most of the cast improvising most of their lines." the film is a mess. It barely makes sense and feels like we are watching an 8 hour mini series that has been cut down to 81 minutes.

After seeing it on Elvira,and wishing I had been at home so I could have set my DVD recorder to record it,I kinda forgot about the movie. Then about 2 years ago I was in a local thrift shop. The owner told me he needed to clear out his VHS so was dropping the price to 25 cents each. I saw the above pictured cover to The Terror VHS and had to get it. I love that cover. It is simple but works so well. And since buying that VHS I have watched it 2 times. Once to refresh myself on the movie. Then again weeks ago during one of our VHS viewing parties.

But before I found the VHS I got my first copy of The Terror on DVD. Kinda surprised I didn't own it before since I own a bunch of horror multipacks. I was at a closeout store and found this....

Yep they released every episode of the modern version of Elvira's Movie Macabre on DVD. Most of them are double features and can be found cheap. The only drawback is the prints used for the DVDs are the same ones that aired on TV. So with films like say Lady Frankenstein you get the edited for TV cut.


The cast is pretty fun. You got a young Jack Nicholson in one of the many roles he had in Roger Corman low budget films. And I think this is Jack's first leading role. You can see the spark of greatness that Nicholson has. But it also shows that he hasn't fully honed his craft yet.

Boris Karloff is great as Baron Von Leppe. He only filmed for 2 days. But those must have been some long days. Cause Karloff is in lots of scenes of the movie.

And finally we got Dick Miller as Stefan. From my research Dick and Jack wrote and directed a few scenes of the film. Scenes that were needed when Corman realized that the film wasn't making sense. Dick is the perfect example of "Hey it's that Guy!". You know an actor or actress that you seen in piles of movies and/or TV shows. They rarely are the lead and you never can remember their real name. Dick Miller has been in hundreds of films. And I think has been the lead in maybe 2 of them.

Anyways if you like gothic horror style films. And want a way to kill 90 or so minutes The Terror is worth seeing. With it being public domain it is easy to find. Not only are their piles of cheap DVD releases,the movie is all over Youtube and places like the Internet Archive.

The Terror gets a C-.

[Matt H. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Matt H.]

013)Jeepers Creepers III 6.5-I know what the director has done, and despise him for that. OTOH, he does make a damn creepy flick or franchise here. Rented it, sent it back and am going to take a shower.

It's a good sequel and I like how almost all of the action takes place in the daytime. Nice touch (no pun intended).

[Ignatius Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ignatius]

Day 18: Ice Cream Man

The fuck do you even say about a movie this willfully strange and stupid?

[Jason C Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jason C]

28 Weeks Later (UK-Spain, 2007) 9/10
Wow, this film is intense. The hair on my legs was standing up during many of the attacks, especially the first. Damn, the opening is rough. My heart sinks thinking about it now. Love the characters and just about everything in this film. Cool soundtrack.


Zombie Strippers (USA, 2008) 6/10
Saturday/Sunday was the first 24-hour period I had to myself in many months. Sunday morning I was excited, looking forward to starting the day with a few horror films. Unfortunately, I led with 28 Weeks Later which left me emotionally spent. So I stood in my media closet for 15 minutes trying to decide on a palette chaser. I landed on a film I'd been avoiding for years. My spidey-senses screamed Zombie Strippers would suck hard. They were wrong. There are many groan worthy stupid moments most of which come early on, but there is some cool shit as well. As the film goes on the good outweighs the bad. Robert Englund is amusing as are some of the interactions between the strippers. The showdown between Jenna Jameson and her rival was a hoot. Most of all it actually delvers on T&A and makes for an amusing 90 minutes.


Death Metal Zombies (USA, 1995) 5/10
I'll admit that I find Todd Jason Cook's no-budget VHS movies to be charming. As I'm watching them I spend most of the time thinking about what it must have been like getting your buddies and grownups at the local tavern together to make a movie. I hope they had a blast. DMZ is goofy harmless fun. It even has a Gratuitous shower scene and topless local gal zombies.

[agent999 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close agent999]

Day 18: The Headless Ghost

Harmless kid's picture from Herman Cohen. The B&W scope photography was nice. I was entertained. This would probably play well at a halloween party. Shame that I don't like parties. Or kids.

[agent999 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close agent999]

Day 18.5: Hellbound Hellraiser II

This has so many problems, but I still love it. Just a shame that they didn't put more of the original's profits into the budget. The sets are particularly shonky, something that the excellent Arrow Blu Ray hightens. It wipes the floor with the previous transfers.

[Newt Cox Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newt Cox]

28 Weeks Later (UK-Spain, 2007) 9/10
Wow, this film is intense. The hair on my legs was standing up during many of the attacks, especially the first. Damn, the opening is rough. My heart sinks thinking about it now. Love the characters and just about everything in this film. Cool soundtrack.


Zombie Strippers (USA, 2008) 6/10
Saturday/Sunday was the first 24-hour period I had to myself in many months. Sunday morning I was excited, looking forward to starting the day with a few horror films. Unfortunately, I led with 28 Weeks Later which left me emotionally spent. So I stood in my media closet for 15 minutes trying to decide on a palette chaser. I landed on a film I'd been avoiding for years. My spidey-senses screamed Zombie Strippers would suck hard. They were wrong. There are many groan worthy stupid moments most of which come early on, but there is some cool shit as well. As the film goes on the good outweighs the bad. Robert Englund is amusing as are some of the interactions between the strippers. The showdown between Jenna Jameson and her rival was a hoot. Most of all it actually delvers on T&A and makes for an amusing 90 minutes.


Death Metal Zombies (USA, 1995) 5/10
I'll admit that I find Todd Jason Cook's no-budget VHS movies to be charming. As I'm watching them I spend most of the time thinking about what it must have been like getting your buddies and grownups at the local tavern together to make a movie. I hope they had a blast. DMZ is goofy harmless fun. It even has a Gratuitous shower scene and topless local gal zombies.

I got Zombie Strippers lined up to watch later this month.

Title-Satan's Storybook
Source-TubiTV app

While I love modern tech in someways I hate it. Like how I waited until 2004 to finally get a cellphone. And even now 14 years later I still got a fliphone.. Not a smartphone. Hell for years I didn't want a tablet computer. I had a desktop and a laptop and was happy. Then I got a good tablet for cheap and discovered how useful it can be. Kinda nice to have a device that fits in my pocket that is loaded up with piles of books,comics,movies,cartoons and TV shows. Plus cause of it I have discovered all kinds of free streaming services.

Sure every one knows about Netflix and Hulu. But how many of y'all know of TubiTV? It is a free streaming service. Were you get uncut movies and TV shows. The only drawback is about every 30 minutes you will get 2 or 3 thirty second long ads. So not a bad trade off. TubiTV has piles of stuff. And on evenings when it isn't hot I will go sit on my back porch and find something to watch on TubiTV.

It was months back I had the house to myself and didn't feel like sitting inside watching whatever crap airs on TV. So I filled up a big glass of iced tea,grabbed my tablet and my dog and I went to sit on the back porch. I was scrolling thru the recently added movies section on TubiTV when I saw Satan's Storybook. I did a double take cause I was sure I had seen the cover before and was sure the blonde on it was a 80s era Ginger Lynn aka Ginger Lynn Allen. I knew the cover and film title sounded familiar but didn't know why. I started up the film and saw that it is a very low budget DTV horror from 1989.

It was about halfway thru the film,during one of the ad breaks,that I realized why I knew the cover. For at least a year maybe more,in Fangoria there would be a quarter page ad advertising this movie. The ad played up the fact that it had the first non-porno role for Ginger Lynn Allen. Who IIRC was dating Charlie Sheen at the time. And the company selling the VHS wanted 29.95 plus shipping for it. Now for years I had seen the ad and wanted to see the movie. But figured I would never get a chance.

I looked online and the movie has so far only gotten a VHS release. Kinda surprised Code Red,Slasher Video or Massacre Video or hell Bleeding Skull hasn't released this on DVD or Blu Ray yet. VHS copies go for stupid prices. I am guessing not that many people bought a copy back in the day.And I never saw it for rent in any video store.


The story is fairly simple. Ginger plays some kind of Angelic ninja. The first scene is Ms Allen dressed up as a white ninja fighting off a bunch of black ninjas. While trying to save a gothic looking lady. We find out the goth lady is Satan's bride. And Ginger is there to stop the wedding so she can prevent the birth of the AntiChrist.

After this we switch to Satan in a throne. He is mad that his woman has been kidnapped. So to cheer him up Hell's jester shows up to tell Satan a few stories. Yep this is a horror anthology.


That is Satan. A guy in a goat mask with furry pants. Whoever made the movie must have gotten some fog machines cheap. Cause everytime we see Satan there is piles of fog.

The first story is "Demon of Death". About a 80s era serial killer. He dresses like your typical late 80s metalhead. And picks names at random out of the phone book. Then goes and kills the person he picked.Then at random he picks a girl who has ESP and her mother is a witch. Our killer gets gunned down but doesn't die. So is put on death row. And we get a trite as fuck twist ending.

The second story is about a drunk ass clown. Who kills himself. After what feels like an hour of boring dialogue we find out the clown is in hell. Yeah this story sucks.

Ginger is wandering around the woods with Satan's bride with her. They get surrounded by a bunch of people in whatever slightly Satanic looking stuff Party City had marked at 70% off the day after Halloween. During this battle Ginger just disappears. And we find out that Satan's bride now doesn't want to have a kid. Cut back to Ginger bathed in red light and surrounded by fog. And she implies that we will get a sequel.

It was more than likely 89 or 90 when I first saw the ad for this movie in Fangoria. And so it has been right at 30 years that I have been wanting to see it. So while it was kick ass I finally got to see a film I had never seen and thought I would never get to see,plus I saw it for free. The movie sucks ass. The only good parts are well Ginger looks great,the goat mask Satan wears is well done and the one evil clown in the second story is actually a bit scary. Besides that the movie was a waste of 90 or so minutes.

Now if you want to see this pile of shit,and why would you,well I haven't checked to see if it is still on TubiTV. TubiTV has a habit of cycling out stuff at random. You can find the full movie on Youtube. That way you can watch this minor piece of DTV horror history for free.

Satan's Storybook gets a F.

[Newt Cox Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newt Cox]

Title-Decoys
Source-Sony Double Feature DVD

Back in 2008 or 2009 I was trying to find something to watch. Saw that SciFi Channel was airing something called Decoys. It looked like a Invasion of the Body Snatchers style sci fi horror hybrid so I turned it on.

After a few minutes I realized that the movie was gonna be heavily cut on Sci Fi. Cause I kept seeing lots of jarring cuts happening. Then the gorgeous Kim Poirier came on the screen.

I knew I had seen her in something before this but had no clue. Once the movie was over I went and looked up Ms Poirier up on IMDB. Turns out she played the semi slutty blonde in the Dawn of the Dead remake. And Decoys was her second movie,with American Psycho II being her first and Dawn of the Dead remake being her third.

After finishing the movie I saw that the sequel was airing next.But I now wanted to see both of them uncut. Checked Netflix and they didn't have either film for disc rental. The one video store we had left in town didn't have them for rent. And when I would search for them on Dish Network they only seemed to air on channels that would edit them. So I gave up on seeing the movie uncut.

Skip ahead to this past summer. A friend had realized she never watched any of the hundred or so DVDs she owned. She told me to come over and see if she had anything I wanted. I started digging and saw the DVD that had both Decoys films. And after almost a decade I finally got to see Decoys uncut.

The film's plot is pretty simple. A bunch of dopey guys learn that there is an alien invasion. These aliens look human but got piles of tentacles on the inside. Plus they seem to get sexually aroused by cold. And besides the language the only part cut out of the Sci Fi Channel airings was a short scene,that gets repeated a few times through out the film,were Kim Poirier and the other lady get naked. While it was nice to see Ms Poirier naked it didn't make the movie any better. We get a plot that has been done 100s of times before this. The acting is OK at best. Looking at the cast looks like most of them are Canadian TV actors. The FX work,which is mostly CGI,is ok. It is at the level you expect from a DTV early 2000s film.

Decoys gets a D+.

[Ignatius Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ignatius]

Day 19: Burning Bright

A woman and her young autistic brother find themselves boarded inside a house during a hurricane, and there's a tiger on the loose! That's a deeply stupid concept, and the film is even stupider. It's the kind of stupid that can be amusing if watched in the company of friends and alcoholic beverages - otherwise not recommended. Includes an uncredited cameo by Meatloaf.

[Alex K. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Alex K.]

The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

Very good arthouse horror where I sadly cannot reveal the plot because that would be giving away the whole thing. Lynchian, maybe? I feel like "Lynchian" is this generation's "Kafka-esque." Worth checking out if you appreciate arthouse horror.

[Matt H. Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Matt H.]

I didn't get SACRED DEER. Some of it was intriguing, but it eventually became completely alienating (and boring) once I realized that nothing was going to be explained. I'd watch it again, because this is the type of movie that could very well come to life on a 2nd viewing. I also think the 2 hour running time could use some trimming.