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31 days of Horror part 4: Citizens on Patrol

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  • Slugs (1988) 5/10
    Amusing and trashy enough but I stopped caring in the final act. The bad dubbing was a plus. Nothing special.

    A Lonely Place to Die
    (UK, 2011) 6/10
    I've seen this recommended when reading impressions/reviews of TRIANGLE so I was expecting a bit f horror with some twists. There are some interesting bits of misdirection that made this enjoyable than otherwise but it's not really horror. That said, I did enjoy it. Its well shot, the cast is good and the pace keeps it interesting. Sean Harris (Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation) is a fantastic villain.

    The Terror [Elvira's Movie Macabre] (USA, 1963)
    Not as boring as Elvira claimed but not good either. It has a few intriguing moments but I would not have felt like it was time well spent without The Mistress of the Dark breaking up the monotony. The finale is convoluted mess.

    Jennifer's Body [Unrated] (USA, 2009) 7/10
    I was ready to not like this film, but ended up having a blast. It's damn funny. There are some obnoxious moments, but I'm willing to forgive those. The goth kid's funeral where the mother goes off is a riot. So is the ritual that converted Jennifer. The way they chose to end it was strong as well. Really wish there was some gratuitous nudity, but oh well.

    Moon (UK-USA, 2009) 7/10
    Yikes, that's depressing.

    Frankenstein's Bloody Terror (Spain-West Germany, 1968) 7/10
    This one so much fun. Starts off with Naschy macking on some rich dude's love interest. Later on he's bitten by El hombre lobo while saving the guy. Now the rich kid is obligated to help him find a cure while he watches the woman he loves fawn all over him. Before it has a chance to get boring a pair of vampires show up and start a deathmatch between to werewolves. The Subkulter BD looks and sounds great. Awesome stuff.

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    • Day 30: Blood on Satan's Claw

      Lots of fun. There's some odd plotting and the climax is marred by bad use of slow-motion, but it's nastier than I expected and has a wonderful quaint 'costume drama' atmosphere. If any of you have a thing for watching Doctor Who companions get brutalised then this will be right up your alley.

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      • Day 30: The Borderlands

        Even for a found footage film the establishing rules are really crummy, but overall it's not bad, especially when the worst actor makes an exit.
        I'm bitter, I'm twisted, James Joyce is fucking my sister.

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        • 01)Pigeons From Hell-Thriller
          02)Madhouse(1974)
          03)Horror Island
          04)The Skull
          05)The Robot Vs The Aztec Mummy
          06)Delirium (2018)
          07)Curse Of The Doll People
          08)Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
          09)Midnight Man(US)
          010)Midnight Man (UK)
          011)Xtro
          012)Destination Inner Space
          013)Jeepers Creepers III
          014)Tales From The Hood 2
          015)One Dark Night
          016)Hangman(2017)
          017)Sugar Hill
          018)The Invisible Man
          019)Trick 'r Treat
          020)The House Of Long Shadows
          021)Castle Of Blood
          022)Genii Of Darkness
          023)Flesh Gordon
          024)House Of The Damned
          025)Secret Of The Blue Room
          "The popcorn you're eating has been pissed in. Film at 11".

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          • The Rape After (Devil Fetus 2: The Rape After) (Hong Kong, 1984)
            This was fun but not quite as bonkers or sleazy as Seeding of a Ghost. But that's a high bar.


            Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (USA, 1988) 4/10
            I appreciate how well THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS captures the feel of Halloween but that and an entertaining performance from Donald Pleasance is all the film has too offer for much of its runtime. The kills are weak and its dreadfully dull once they bunker down in the sheriff's house. It also doesn't help that George Wilbur's Michael doesn't look all that menacing. The final chase isn't great either but the film is saved by the final few minutes. The finale is one of my favorite moments of the entire series. It's such bummer they didn't run with Jaime taking over as The Shape. The Thorn plotline is bullshit. I would have loved to have seen a murderous Danielle Harris take over.


            Halloween 5 (USA, 1989) 5/10
            The 5th installment is the opposite of number 4. With some quality kills, decently crafted tension and kooky Dr. Loomis, THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS is consistently entertaining throughout. It also benefits from less Ellie Cornell. Don Shanks and a new mask make for a much better Michael than the previous installment. The only drag on the film is the ending. Its epicly stupid. WTF were they thinking?

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            • Day 30

              Title-2 Evil Eyes
              Source-Vudu

              Yep another film I read about in Fangoria. I was looking forwArd to this movie. Where George Romero,RIP, and Dario Argento would each adapt a classic tale of Horror from Edgar Allen Poe. Much time passed and the movie never played any theater near me. Saw that it was hitting VHS. But no video store I went to had a copy. Finally late one weeknight in 92 it aired on Showtime. So I stayed up till 2am to watch it.

              Up first is Romero's part,The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar. Which is about a wife using hypnosis to get her elderly husband to give her control of his money.

              The husband has a heart attack while hypnotized. So the wife and her lover hide they body. Which causes all kinds of creepy shit to start happening.

              This is based on one of the few Poe stories I haven't read. Adrianne Barbeau is the wife. And for some reason she still has the crappy perm she had on Maude.

              Over all it is decent. But I was expecting much more from Romero.

              The second story is directed by Dario Argento and is based on The Black Cat. We get Harvey Kietel as the lead. He is a crime scene photographer.

              This story is much better than The first one. It looks great. Has good sound design. Plus Harvey is a way more talented actor than Adrianne.

              Sadly even though the film is based on stories from a great author,and has two mega talented directors at the helm...well it turns out to be average at best.

              Two Evil Eyes gets a C+.

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              • Day 30.5 Halloween III

                The law states that I have to watch this. It was ridiculous when I first saw it at 13, and it's just as ridiculous 32 years later. I fucking love it.
                I'm bitter, I'm twisted, James Joyce is fucking my sister.

                Comment


                • Day 31: The Last Horror Film

                  Appropriate, no? This really shouldn't work at all (and mostly doesn't) but the obvious guerilla shooting during Cannes has a particular charm, and Spinell and Munro are charismatic enough to keep the whole thing afloat. I've never much liked self-reflexive horror films, mainly because they never seem to have anything interesting to say, but Last Horror Film kind of gets away with it because it clearly doesn't give a fuck. It's just having fun being a bit cheeky and slapping a bunch of different images together. The end result certainly isn't good, but I ended up feeling far more affectionate toward it than I expected. The scene in which Spinell breaks into Munro's bathroom with a bottle of champagne is a keeper.

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                  • Day 31: Pontypool

                    Interesting concept, not sure it worked 100%, but I liked it.
                    I'm bitter, I'm twisted, James Joyce is fucking my sister.

                    Comment


                    • MERIDIAN - Although I admire Charles Band's attempt at making a serious gothic fantasy, this was a bomb. It's just so boring. It seems to have been made for horny young girls, which is interesting, but I'm sure even they would've hated it. I know if I saw it when I was a Full Moon fanatic at age 12, I would've been pissed (except for the boobs).
                      Why would anybody watch a scum show like Videodrome? Why did you watch it, Max?

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Matt H. View Post
                        MERIDIAN - Although I admire Charles Band's attempt at making a serious gothic fantasy, this was a bomb. It's just so boring. It seems to have been made for horny young girls, which is interesting, but I'm sure even they would've hated it. I know if I saw it when I was a Full Moon fanatic at age 12, I would've been pissed (except for the boobs).
                        Is it common for films "made for horny young girls" to feature scenes of young women being drugged and raped? Its been a while but my recollection is that MERIDIAN was fairly sleazy and had some pretty choice nudity.

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                        • Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers [Theatrical] (USA, 1995) 5/10
                          The first few times I watched this film I hated it. Now that I've made peace with the Thorn plotline I was able to look for the things Part 6 does well. For starters, the characters are more interesting than those of Parts 4 and 5. Even side characters like the deaf old lady provide some cool moments. The stalking scenes have more tension and the kills are brutal. The music in the Theatrical sucks and the ending isn't strong, but I had a decent time. The Producer's cut has too many problems and I appreciate that Thorn isn't as prominent in the Theatrical. This is the third time in 9 years I've ran the Halloween 4 thru 6 gauntlet and I hope I'm done with them for at least another decade. There are better films to spend 5 hours on.

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                          • Originally posted by Jason C View Post
                            Is it common for films "made for horny young girls" to feature scenes of young women being drugged and raped? Its been a while but my recollection is that MERIDIAN was fairly sleazy and had some pretty choice nudity.
                            Haha, I think with a little editing it could've been shown on the Lifetime channel.
                            Why would anybody watch a scum show like Videodrome? Why did you watch it, Max?

                            Comment


                            • Day 31

                              Title-Tarantulas:The Deadly Cargo
                              Source-Svengoolie airing

                              Back in the 70s it felt like every few weeks one of the 3 networks would air a new made for TV horror film. Some were great like Duel. Some were middle of the road. Then some were boring like today's movie.

                              We start off with Tom Atkins and Howard Hesseman are smuggling a large amount of coffee beans fro Ecuador. Yea not drugs these morons are smuggling coffee. And in those black market beans is a deadly bunch of banana spiders.

                              The plane crashes right outside the town of Finleyville CA. These spiders have a fast acting deadly venom. People all over town start dropping dead.

                              While this movie is only 100 minutes long it feels like it was 6 hours. Not sure if the print Sven showed was in bad shape, but the colors look faded. And if I didn't know better I would think this was filmed on an cheap early 90s camcorder.

                              At least Sven's bits were entertaining. But they weren't good enough for me to ever watch this movie ever again.

                              Tarantulas:The Deadly Cargo gets a F+.

                              Comment


                              • Unfortunately personal life shit torpodoed my movie watching. That and season 3 of DareDevil. I will try to watch one or two more pictures by tonight/early morning.
                                "Ah! By god's balls what licentiousness!"

                                Marquis de Sade, The 120 Days of Sodom.

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