Silly cinemagoing

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 2nd. Monday. 12:35pm. Hot Tub Time Machine 2.
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke.
Regal Crown Club Points: 6909
Crowd: Maybe 5 other people. All quiet.

The other day I found myself watching a 360dpi VHS rip of The Whoopee Boys. In Pan & Scan.
I hadn't seen it in probably 20 years, and it made me wonder how it ever played in a theater. Just nonsensical attempts at throwing everything they can at the audience to hope for a laugh, even if it's weird or batshit crazy. That's sort of how Hot Tub Time Machine 2 is; just throw every joke you can and hope that one lands. That doesn't make it not funny; far from it. It's juvenile dick and fart joke aesthetic works on a base level; you laugh at the homoerotic undercurrent because it's funny to think of the main characters fucking each other; it's not a Criterion title so why not be crass? Why not push a set of cock and balls against a window just for the gag? It's missing the heart and soul (which is to say Cusack and Lizzy Caplan) of the first film, but it makes up for it with goofy dirty humor.

Toasters: 2.75 out of 5.

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 3rd. Tuesday. 6:20pm. The Lazarus Effect.
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Large Diet Coke, Small Popcorn, Reese's Pieces.
Regal Crown Club Points: 6927
Accompaniment: Julia (wife)
Crowd: two other movie goers.

The Lazarus Effect has a very early 2000s aesthetic; lots of familiar and predictable tropes. It's not bad, but it's also not very original or scary. After TRON:LEGACY I'd watch Olivia Munn read a Denny's Menu, so there's that, and the rest of the cast does a decent job with what they were given.

Toasters: 2.5 out of 5.

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 6th. Friday. 12:40pm. CHAPPiE
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke.
Regal Crown Club Points: 6943
Crowd: Maybe 10 other people, all silent.

I like Neil Blomkamp. I liked DISTRICT 9 an awful lot, and a lot of Elysium was awful, so before seeing Chappie- he was 50/50. I'm sure that the ALIEN news is attaching unintended gravitas to his latest- Following Ridley Scott, James Cameron, David Fincher and Jean-Pierre Junet comes with a certain amount of baggage and with a third film- particularly one that's sci-fi based- this is where he proves if he's a fluke or not. Thankfully, with it's flaws, I liked Chappie and have faith that Blomkamp's inheritance of the Alien franchise is well justified. There's been a lot of talk about this being a modern Short Circuit, which is fair, but it plays out more of an examination about what consciousness is and how we propagate our species by condemning our progeny to die simply by virtue of being born. Chappie is aware of this. Is pained by it and ultimately wants to fix it. The transhumanism angle is the bright spot of the film.

The flaws that bothered me may not- and probably will not- bother most people. I'm not a big fan of rap culture, particularly the gangsta self mythologizing, so having Ninja and Yolandi from Die Antwoord playing... Ninja and Yolandi from Die Antwoord (but as badass thugs) could have easily lost me, particularly the crotch grabbing bravado of Ninja training Chappie to be a 'robot gangsta #1'. But the rest of the film more than evened that out. I also thought I spotted Peter 'Robocop' Weller's voice as the voice of the SCOUT robots, but I didn't see his name in the credits.

Ultimately well worth the hype. Now to wait semi-patiently for ALIEN.

Toasters: 3.5 out of 5.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

March 9th. Monday. 6pm. Chappie
Theatre: Small one, about 100 seats. 10% full Snacks/drinks: Medium Sprite.

As my man Shawn, I to liked District 9 very much, and was not very impressed with Elysium. I had no real hopes of being amazed by this film going in, and while it did not amaze me, it entertained me. What Chappie has, that most other blockbusters lack, is charm and funny moments. Chappie, despite being a robot, actually has more depth in his character then most Hollywood leading men of today. Not very flattering for Sigourney Weaver nor Hugh Jackman that a special effect voiced by Sharlto Copley out acts them, but that is the case here.

I was not for nor against the rap angle, but felt that part of the story took more room then it should have, compared to all the rest. I liked the Visual style, and the SFX very much. I am still baffled how Blomkamp can make films with 25% of the budget of an Iron Man 3 or whatever, and have it look much better in the CGI department. (Someone at Marvel ought to get shot)

I also kept thinking that this is the film the Robocop remake wishes it was, as similarities are to many to be ignored.

Anyhoo, a solid 4 out of 5 toasters

PS. If I ever get a pet robot, I want him to speak in a South African accent, just like Chappie.

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 9th. Monday. 1pm. Unfinished Business
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke.
Regal Crown Club Points: 6959
Crowd: 3 other people.

I love Nick Frost. And I love gloryholes. Mix the two on the big screen and I'm happy.
Unfinished Business is standard Vince Vaughn underdog faire but it's strangely fractured- on one hand it's a little raunchier than most of his 'little guy overcoming the odds' films with a decent amount of male and female nudity, and on the other it features Vaughn as a good father and husband. The dynamic is unexpected and kind of strange.Nick Frost is sorely underused, as is charming dick James Marsden- both could have had much more screen time. There are some oddly uncomfortable moments with Dave Franco's character (that aren't played for laughs, thankfully) that I didn't expect. I don't know. I liked it, it just wasn't good.

Toasters: 2.25 out of 5

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 10th. Tuesday. 2pm. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
Theater: Lowes Cherry Hill 24.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke, small popcorn.
Crowd: exclusively little old ladies. And me.

I thought the original Best Exotic was super charming; I liked the cast, love films set in India and in general am a pretty big fan of "feel good" movies so it was a perfect fit. There's a danger in making sequels to charming movies that work; they pander to the audience, play on jokes that worked the first time and generally eradicate any good will you have to the original. Thankfully, Second Best Exotic isn't that kind of sequel. It just continues the story with a few new characters (including Richard Gere) thrown in. I thought it was great and while a little predictable still a really cute little movie.

Toasters: 3.25 out of 5

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 12th. Thursday. 8:00pm. Cinderella.
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Large Diet Coke, Large Popcorn, HotDog.
Regal Crown Club Points: 6995
Accompaniment: Julia (wife)
Crowd: Four other people.

I proposed to my Wife at Disney World. (at the end of the Haunted Mansion)
We went on a Disney Cruise for our honeymoon.
We recently got matching Mickey Mouse ear hat tattoos.

Which is to say that we went into Cinderella biased. We didn't mind the massive overhaul of Maleficent so we weren't too worried that they were going to take liberties with the story- we figured we'd enjoy it regardless. Which we did. It also happens to have stayed relatively faithful to the original Disney version, with a few tweaks and changes here and there, but it stands on it's own. Good direction by Kenneth Branagh, wonderfully villainous Wicked Stepmother played by Cate Blanchett, a sweet and loving Lily James Cinderella and Rob Stark himself as a deeper, less one dimensional Prince Charming. My wife and I were really charmed by the film- which eschews 'gritty retelling' for a more classic fairy tale. I think even non Disney Geeks will be able to enjoy it as long as they understand going into it that it's a happily ever after escapist film.

Toasters: 3.75 out of 5.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

March 16th. Monday. 6pm. Focus
Theatre: Small one, about 60 seats. 12% full Snacks/drinks: Gigantonormous Coca-Cola.

I hate Will Smith. He is a decent enough actor when he acts instead of when he plays himself. This time he decided to act. Margot Robbie is the kind of chick who is so good looking that you start to consider her ugly as she feels "fake" somehow. Like some kind of special effect.

Not a great combo going in. And I was lukewarm to the concept of a con-artist type film. It felt it had been done to many times allready. But, somehow, I just cant dislike a film as well made as this. Sure, the plot was nothing exctraordinary, and the twists were obvious to anyone who has ever seen a film in this genre before, and, yes, the characters were kind of two dimensional.

But... it was good looking and there is something inherently rewarding about watching thieves do their grift on the big screen. So I cant write this one of completely.

a solid if very unspectacular 3 toasters out of 5

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

I want to see a spinoff of FOCUS with Farhad. Just being Farhad.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

I want to see a spinoff of FOCUS with Farhad. Just being Farhad.

This, I am definitely down with. Good idea Shawn.

[Dom D Spoon! Find all posts View Profile Close Dom D]

Margot Robbie is the kind of chick who is so good looking that you start to consider her ugly as she feels "fake" somehow. Like some kind of special effect.

Not long ago she was playing in a local soap (Neighbours). It's a wierd thing but I don't think anyone ever really noticed her while she was on the show. That programs given birth to a lot of sex bombs but she wasn't one of them. Then she was only the third hottest girl in that terrible, terrible Pan Am show she was in. Now alll of a sudden she's everyhwere and one of the worlds hottest people. How did it happen?...

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

Not long ago she was playing in a local soap (Neighbours). It's a wierd thing but I don't think anyone ever really noticed her while she was on the show. That programs given birth to a lot of sex bombs but she wasn't one of them. Then she was only the third hottest girl in that terrible, terrible Pan Am show she was in. Now alll of a sudden she's everyhwere and one of the worlds hottest people. How did it happen?...

Special Effects. I am sure of this! Also, unlike the rest of the Hollywood hotties, she feels like you could probably get to fuck her if you just tried. A quality not to be taken lightly.

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 17th. Tuesday. 3pm. Cymbeline.
Theater: Lowes Cherry Hill 24.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke, small popcorn. Twizzlers.
Crowd: Almost empty.

I can't remember if I enjoyed Michael Almereyda's modern adaptation of HAMLET (2000) or not. The cast is impressive (Bill Murray AND Paul Bartel?) but it's always a crap-shoot to transpose Elizabethan English in a contemporary setting. Particularly when it's Dakota Johnson delivering the lines; her mediocre acting is charming when she's performing E.L. James (and when she's naked) but Shakespeare is a different sport all together. Cymbeline is being touted as 'Sons of Anarchy meets Game of Thrones'- the Britons (led by Ed Harris) are a biker gang and the Romans (Vondie Curtis-Hall from Lurhman's Romeo & Juliet) a corrupt Police force.

Add star crossed lovers and you've got the Bard.

Some of the cast weren't the best choices for their roles, but if you like Shakespeare you'll either like Cymbeline or hate it. Me... I thought it was ok at best.

Toasters: 2.5 out of 5.

[llj Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close llj]

Not long ago she was playing in a local soap (Neighbours). It's a wierd thing but I don't think anyone ever really noticed her while she was on the show. That programs given birth to a lot of sex bombs but she wasn't one of them. Then she was only the third hottest girl in that terrible, terrible Pan Am show she was in. Now alll of a sudden she's everyhwere and one of the worlds hottest people. How did it happen?...

Wolf of Wall Street. Big movie, right role and great make-up. In TWOWS she was made up to be a trophy wife basically. And now she'll be typecast as that until she does something big that breaks her out of it.

Originally, Ben Affleck and Kristen Stewart were going to be the leads in Focus. Which would probably have been a disaster for both the movie and the actors, as I can't think of two actors who would be more poorly matched than those two. But Affleck dropped out and Stewart opted to go work with Olivier Assayas instead on Clouds of Sils Maria (which is turning out to have been a great move on her part, given the acclaim she's getting for it) .

[ShawnP5 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ShawnP5]

March 20th. Thursday. 8:10pm. Run all night.
Theater: Regal Riverview Stadium.
Snacks: Medium Diet Coke.
Regal Crown Club Points: 7018
Accompaniment: Erin (weekly movie buddy)
Crowd: four other people.

I considered just doing a cut and paste of the review I did for Taken 3 and changing a few of the detail- since that's pretty much what Liam Neeson does these days. This movie is every Liam Neeson movie you've seen since Taken- the gruff badass who avenges the wrongdoing done to someone he loves. Run All Night plays a little different- the relationship that his loser character has with Shaun (Ed Harris) before he has to hunt him down was interesting. The most interesting thing in the film.

When rating Liam Neeson action films I always feel the need to justify the low numbers- giving this a two didn't mean that I didn't enjoy it. It's just a predictable, fun film despite not being very good.

Toasters: 2.5 out of 5.