What are you watching?

[Dom D]

Babylon: come on.... what the fuck was that?!

It's rare that a movie actually makes me angry. Last year broke records and did it to me twice. 2022 already delivered us Everything Everywhere All At Once. I marked that film down as the worst of the year and top 10 worst all time but- dear god- this piece of shit may just have it beat.

Completely incoherent, rabidly self important, 16 hours long. I just don't know what this film is about or how it happened. As disastrous as it was, I kind of get how EEAAO happened. Someone saw Ricky and Morty and thought they could rip it off for a feature and mash it up with some Hong Kong action. Fuck you but fair 'nough. This film though feels like it's made on the fly by a coked up, overly praised director just shouting at his cast to do something and, when in doubt, do one of those shots where the camera dolly's down a trumpet because we've never seen that before.

Id like to give it a coherent review but theres no reasonable direction to approach it from so Ill just say, exterminate all the brutes.

[Dom D]

Don't Worry Darling: Considering that it was flat out not-very-good Stepford Wives has a weird way of continuing to pop up in pop culture. There was the remake with Nicole Kidman. There was Black Stepford Wives with Get Out and now there's Don't Worry Darling which is another retread.

This had a reputation of being Not As Good As Hyped before it was even released. There was all tthe Wilder-Flo-LeBoueff drama. Styles magnificiently spitting on Chris Pine and all the rest of it. So for a film the studio would have Had Hopes For it slunk it's way into cinemas in very sheepish fashion, got eviscerated in the reviews, and then slunk right the fuck back out again.

I submit it's nowhere near as bad as everyone says. What I expected to be the disappointment of the film was the reveal of what is actually happening in this small town where Something is clearly happening. I expected a cheap excuse and then a rush for the exit. Instead what you're given is kind of thematically interesting and, like a Dudes rug, really ties the room together. It's a look at that 50s prefeminism idea of a mans world, that looks alright for a woman too, if you ignore the lack of opportunity for all.

Which is not to say that it's very good. It has the look of being written by an instinctive writer who never came back to do a second draft. There's so many things left hanging in this film. Things that you expect to have explained and then they're just dropped. Like the writer left himself a lot of threads to draw on in case he needed them, decided that he didn't and then didn't go back to clean up the mess. For example our leading lady is drawn into the desert by the sight of a crashing airplane. Out There she comes across the source of all the mystery. She doesn't come across the plane. Why was there a plane crash? How does it tie in? Mysteries! Turns out it doesn't tie into anything. We never see the crash site and it's never explained and it was just a really weird excuse for the writer to get our leading lady trekking across the desert.

Strange filmmaking...

[killer must kill again]

exit wounds (2001)

this has to be one of the best seagal silly walks ever, I could watch that opening scene over and over again and still piss my pants, it's hilarious! other than that this has aged horribly. what was this shit about smuggling heroin in t-shirts?! dmx is playing a smart tech billionaire whizkid, who is secretly going undercover as a tough ass drug lord? ... early 2000s, bro.

talking about shit that wouldn't fly anymore today: the movie literally ends with tom arnold and anthony anderson improvising graphic anecdotes about masturbation and defecation as the end credits roll ... a fitting end for seagals last big hollywood blockbuster swan song!

[Dom D]

The Indian Tomb 1959. Fritz Lang directs a tale about Maharajas, exotic dancers, secret tunnels full of lepers and palace intrigue. I've known about this film for years because Debra Paget (sporting the best body 1959 had to offer) performs a snake charming dance that is much shared in burlesque circles. As often as I've seen this scene though I'd never seen the movie.

It has its charms. An international coproduction with some extravagant sets and simple plotting. Theres a lot black face and ultimately the very-risque-for-its-time dance is still the best bit:

[Matt H.]

Sworn to Justice - I thought I wanted to see Cynthia Rothrock in a sexier role - turns out it was weird. She's actually sexier in her regular roles kicking the shit out of everyone. Here she's put into awkward sexy scenes that made me more uncomfortable than anything else and the brief shot of her boob was akin to accidentally seeing one of Chuck Norris' balls hanging out of his shorts or something. Obviously Rothrock's bare breast is certainly better than that, but you get my point. I didn't like seeing her in cheesy sex scenes or dancing around in lingerie with her botched boob job. Other than that, I enjoyed the action scenes and the unintentional laughs. One scene I loved is when Rothrock is acting opposite Brad Dourif and she delivers a particularly bad line with real gusto: it looks like Dourif is trying really, really hard not to burst out laughing.

El violador infernal - This is pretty crazy and amusing for awhile, but for some reason, the best scene is the very first rape/killing. It's an amazing sequence and no scene after it comes close. It should've been a set-piece in the middle or something. It's a repetitive movie that's basically the same sequence played out in 4 or 5 different scenarios. It got a bit boring. However, there's a rape scene around the hour mark that is absolutely vile and almost unwatchable.

[Oily Maniac]

Alligator
The Executioner-Sonny Chiba & Teruo Ishii bring the juvenile fun

[Matt H.]

The Silence of the Lambs - Movies don't get much better than this. It's a masterpiece. I've seen this several times over the years but I noticed a little detail that I had never noticed before: during the scene where Buffalo Bill is doing his infamous dance, I had always assumed he was wearing a wig - he's actually wearing a woman's scalp with the hair still attached!

[Dom D]

I laughed at the 90210 look when I first saw it,

The slightly unreal, soap star good looks of the cast is disconcerting. There should be some sort of study into the difference between movie star good looking and soap star good looking. I don't know what it is, but I know it when I see it.

Love Black Book.

[Barry M]

I laughed at the 90210 look when I first saw it, but it won me over, and now I find myself nodding sagely. "Yes, yes, good point. Valid." Problematizing Heinlein would be a good romcom. Working up to BLACK BOOK.

[Dom D]

Starship Troopers (Paul Verhoeven, 1997). Want to know more?

I watched that about 3 days ago. Despite not liking it I've seen it about half a dozen times and despite not liking it I decided to watch it again. Actually enjoyed it this time round. It's a very odd piece of cinema.

[Oily Maniac]

Delirium (1979) Prime example of a movie that SHOULD be remade as the story outshines the low budget and filmmaking.
Streetwalking (1985) was nice to see some realistic '80s street fashion in this tale of a young street walker and her maniac pimp.

[Barry M]

Starship Troopers (Paul Verhoeven, 1997). Want to know more?

[Barry M]

Captains of the Clouds (Michael Curtiz, 1942). Cagney's a bush pilot, and a dick, but the Warner blu-ray does the Technicolor up right, the way propaganda oughta look. The Canadian locations are, well, Canadian. Billy Bishop cameo, Churchill on the box, and Byron Haskin & Rex Wimpy effects. A+

[Randy G]

Watching 68 Kill on Tubi. Good so far.

[Jason C]

That is some amazing artwork.