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  • Originally posted by sukebanboy View Post
    VULGARIA (2012) (Ho-Cheung Pang) The much hyped HK CAT 3 movie that poked fun at the HK Cat 3 movie world.....Didn't like it at all. Sure, I got the jokes...but nothing great about the majority....also, lost MAJOR points for featuring NO sex OR nudity whatsoever..Maybe that was the BIGGEST joke they played on the audience!!!

    On the other hand, it was nice to see such risque subjects and gross humor appearing in a HK at least proves that big bad China has not dropped their meddling fingersz in it yet and creative freedom still exists there...
    Right on skeebanboy. I felt the same way after watching this & definitely felt a sense of disappointment considering it was hyped as an outrageous black comedy. One of the rare Third Window Films that I regret picking up along with Teenage Hooker Became A Killing Machine -- a far superior & much funnier Chinese sex comedy of recent vintage is Red Light Revolution by Australian director, Sam Voutas.


    • Oooh, RED LIGHT REVOLUTION. I loved that one! Not side-splittingly funny, but highly amusing in places and with a lot of warmth to it.
      'You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow' (my photography website)
      'All explaining in movies can be thrown out, I think': Elmore Leonard


      • THE DARKSIDE (Constantino Magnatta, 1987). Toronto Tony Danza cabbie rescues (real) Cyndy Preston from fake-limey Crispin Glover and Canadian John Waters. (A likeable couple of psycho snuff-moviemakers.) She starts off running through the old St. Clair West cattle stockyards dressed in white lingerie and a trenchcoat like the flasher from PINBALL SUMMER, but later on she wears red and black underwear ensembles, too. Everybody else wears scarves, except for the drug bikers upstairs from the Elvis impersonator who are half-naked or better. More local TO scenery than a NIGHT DRIVE marathon, starring Co-Op Cabs. "Hello, police, I think you should know that there's a junkie in Lee's Palace with white powder all over the toilet in front of him... he's near the bar." (The junkie's David Hewlett from PIN.) The mcguffin's a VHS tape, there's a scene in a videostore ("Is that a real SNUFF movie? Are you open to a business proposition?"), and the boss psycho (Peter Read) is more talking head than Max Headroom interviewing Brian O'Blivion, so there's a satisfying helping of media massagery. Bonus Honest Ed's alley beatdown and buzzing vibrator ass-rape-peril ("It's the Tony Russo Show!").

        Trinity Home Entertainment put out a crappy dvd. Thank you.


        • TOP OF THE WORLD (Sidney J. Furie, 1997). If Donald Westlake wrote a DIE HARD story, and then they made a shitty movie out of it. Pretty fun, actually, but not as much fun as the opening song. Peter Weller, Tia Carrere, Dennis Hopper, David Alan Grier, Peter Coyote, Martin Kove... for such a party of a cast, it's a lot of Sidney Furie signifying nothing. Some good car stunts & things blow up. A+.


          • BANGKOK ASSASSINS (Bangkok Kung Fu) 2012 Thailand

            Christ-on-a-bike this movie was BORING and BAD and BAFFLING all at the same time.

            Not really an action film...more like a cross between Teenage romance - coming of age story- magic powered kids-teen action movie with sudden bursts of violence!!

            It jumps all over the place...and parts of the story dont even make sense!!!

            And NONE of it works particularly well....

            Four children are kidnapped by some criminal scumbags who physically and emotionally torture them. A Shaolin master stumbles upon the criminals' lair and catches wind of the malfeasance. He promptly exercises his martial artistry, punches some faces, and brings the kids back to his domain, training them in the ways of the Shaolin.

            This, of course, means they're now magic. They can float and defy the laws of physics, leap tall buildings, and maybe shoot fireballs. Then again, I wasn't really paying too much attention. Eventually, they decide to take on the evildoers who had tormented them so many years ago.
            AVOID at all costs!


            • Red Dawn - The remake It starts off with a massive CGI wankfest of an invasion, which looks completely shitty, but it actually picks up from there. The rest of the film has nice action set pieces and well choraographed gunfights with no noticeable CGI fakeness. As an action film it actually delivers somewhat. As a "film" though, it fails on all levels. It somehow misses all the emotional cues that made the original work.
              And in this case they just have a bunch of good looking idiots who all seem to be on the intellectual level of ten year olds, make retarded decisions all over the place yet still manage to kick the ass of the invading special forces (who's tactics are superb, i.e. standing in a group at the base of a staircase just waiting for someone to throw a grenade into that juicy Group of enemies.)

              As I think of it further, I do not recall having seen a film that is as emotionally shallow as this ever before. I mean even retard-level films like Armageddon and The Fast and the Furious had occasional scenes which felt real and gave off a bit of feeling. This film really his none of this. What so ever. And the level of acting is on par with 90s porno.

              1,5 out of 5 toasters (Hey, the action was nicer then practically all other modern mainstream CGI wankfests)
              "No presh from the Dresh!"


              • Was directed by an ex-stuntguy.....which explains the OK action scenes...and bugger all else!


                • What are you watching?

                  Originally posted by sukebanboy View Post
                  Was directed by an ex-stuntguy.....which explains the OK action scenes...and bugger all else!
                  It also pussied out by replacing the original Chinese bad guys with the now-cliche North Koreans (aka the new German nazi default villains).

                  You know the folks that brought us Tiananmen Square really ought to get hit up by the Hollywood bad guy stick at least once in a while - its only fair.


                  • Originally posted by Horace Cordier View Post

                    You know the folks that brought us Tiananmen Square really ought to get hit up by the Hollywood bad guy stick at least once in a while - its only fair.
                    Not a chance i am afraid...

                    CHINA is such a big market for US pics...They wouldn't do it...

                    I see they have made an extended version of IRON MAN 3 featuring a Chinese actress and extra scenes in China JUS for that market....I heard they did it with LOOPER too...Bruce had more scenes in China in their version!


                    • Last Days Here - Proof that a lifestyle devoted to drugs and rock 'n' roll won't lead to all of our inevitable downfall. I officially worship Heavy Metal! I can only wish to be a rock 'n' roller whose seen it all and gone through the shitty drug part and then reach my ultimate rise from the ashes, soda speak. Great doc!
                      Dirty Work - I love Norm.
                      Side by Side- A doc about digital versus film. Kinda yawn, but still engaging if I had enough sedatives to make me care.
                      The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle - I feel nothing except sympathy for people who weren't into the joke that was the Sex Pistols. Greatest band of the 1970s.
                      Johnny Stickman
                      Way Out Hep Cat
                      Last edited by Johnny Stickman; 03-31-2013, 07:49 AM. Reason: Buzzed


                      • THE PIRATE BAY AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD - Dir. Simon Klose (2013)

                        I wasn't expecting much going in -- I mean how interesting can following around the guys who started Pirate Bay be right? Well, it was even worse than my already low expectations. These guys are yawn inducing bores for the most part. I would have loved to bitch slap that really annoying drunk asshole who in between his anti-immigrant/foreigner tirade, manages to spew gems of wisdom like "he does it because of ideological pussy-inflicted instincts."


                        • What are you watching?

                          GIRLS AGAINST BOYS.

                          Highfalutin take - artless misandry. Regular guy take - laughable crap.


                          • Waxwork. The perfect film. I'd been puking for a couple of days, I admit, but I can't see how less puke could've improved this movie. A+ 8.5/8.5


                            • Three-quarters of the behind-the-scenes making-of-Psycho story HITCHCOCK (2012) is fiction. These circumstances and events never happened.

                              Circumstances and events that did happen aren't depicted at all.

                              How the shower murder was planned, executed and edited is a blown opportunity.

                              Alfred Hitchcock himself is misrepresented as a person.

                              There is genuine wit and much to enjoy in HITCHCOCK, but it's a poor excuse for a biography and doesn't tell the story of how Psycho was made.

                              So there.
                              "I've been to college, but I can still speak English when business demands it."
                              - Raymond Chandler, 1939.


                              • Emanuelle in America: Erotic, sexy, other synonyms. I really dug the direction this flick took later on.
                                Missing in Action: The 1980s proved that Vietnam was still a major battleground for America.