What are you watching?

[Dom D]

Tetris: Witrh this film, along with Air, it's an eerie thought that Hollywood released two movies about successes in licensing at the same time. I can kind of visualise the confusion it comes out of. Studio executives sitting around scratching their heads about why no one wants to watch even sure fire hits like new Star Wars movies now and figuring they'd go with their gut and tell the sort of stories that get them excited, tales of licensing deals! God bless the great capatalist beast!

Anyway, unlike Air, there is actually a story here. I watched a documentary on this deal a couple years back and I remember some of it. The bits I do remember lead me to think that this probably is a reasonably accurate take on the story- excepting the pointless climatic chase scene of our heroes fleeing Russia. It's a story of various Western organisations all trying to license a game that the Russian government has assumed control of, meaning visits to Moscow to meet with an utterly inscrutable, utterly terrifying Russian government who may or may not want to make some money. It's a fucking mess and a good tale reasonably well told here though they could have dropped the 8 bit animations that pop up at inopportune moments.

[Jason C]

Death to Smoochy (UK-Germany-USA-Canada, 2002) 4/10 **

!!!!SPOLIERS!!!!!
What started off with so much promise continually faded until I no longer wanted to continue. I stuck with it thinking there would be a mind-blowing twist, only to be disappointed. The only time I came close to laughing out loud was one of Robin Williams’ screams of “I’m Rainbow F$#*KING Randolph”. Edward Norton was great in the role, but he never really grew into something interesting. I don’t understand why he never grew beyond being a saccharin sweet sap. I guess having him turn out to be a fraud would have been an obvious choice, but it also would have been more interesting. Jon Stewart was great. But I hate Catherine Keener in everything she is in.

[f.ramses]

Actually revisited Spider Labyrinth myself this weekend and even though I enjoyed it more than any previous viewing I'm still not crazy about it. I'd probably upgrade though, one copy I have is practically unwatchable and while the other is a vast improvement it's not great either.

[mjeon]

How can we still not have a disc of Spider Labyrinth? I watched Under the Silver Lake. I agree with Nabonga (from 5 years ago) that this film will eventually find its audience, but apparently it will take a while.

[James Reed]

I forgot to mention I'm part of a Discord group for giallo films. But there are watch parties where we stream a movie (not just gialli) on TV and chat on our phones. It's difficult to multitask. But last Friday we watched Spider Labyrinth. It was very weird, and predictable. (At least to me.) But I enjoyed it.

[agent999]

Diabolik (2021): Rather languid reboot which (sensibly) does not go down the Bava route. It does a fair bit with a limited budget, but a shame they couldn't stretch to some action scenes (there's a car chase at the start, but that's about it). And it really looks like it should have been shot in scope. Thankfully the character hasn't been watered down to pander to delicate modern sensibilities. After a slow first half it picks up enough to make me want to see the sequels. I hope that Kino puts this out with an English dub, as the amount of times 'Lady Kaaant' is said is rather unfortunate if your mind is in the gutter like mine.

[BW Haggar]

The Day of the Dolphin
(Mike Nichols, 1973)

When the weather is hot, the limited time I have for movie watching gets weird, and I finally get around watching... stuff like this.

And, it is indeed a very strange business.

Long story short: it's pretty weak as a political thriller, but if you want to see George C. Scott making friends with a talking dolphin (and who wouldn't?) - essential viewing.

It feels like one of those movies you'd assume would have a long and torturous history of behind-the-scenes monkey business, in that the tone is totally all over the place, to the extent that you're never quite sure whether you're watching a serious Watergate-era thriller or a heart-warming talking animal movie.

The pace keeps going slow, then FAST, then slow again, the narrative is under-developed in several crucial areas, and the vibe of meditative earnestness which Nichols seems to be going for is undercut by a cheesy, defeating-the-bad-guys final act which feels like a total joke.

But no -- a quick google suggests there are no harrowing stories of studio re-cutting or clashing egos to explain all this, at least insofar as I can tell. I mean, I know it has all that pre-production history with Polanski etc, but by the time we get to the version which was actually greenlit and produced - one guy wrote it, one guy directed it, the studio released it no questions asked... and it still turned out like this? Mind-boggling.

For all its faults though, it's still weirdly fascinating, beautifully shot and far more affecting than it really should be.

Sits very nicely next to 'Silent Running' in the limited canon of first wave / post-hippie environmental tearjerkers, and hits those "man is the REAL monster" buttons more effectively / thought provokingly than most of what followed once these kind of themes began to filter into the mainstream during the 80s/90s. I'm very glad I made time for it.

[Dom D]

Violent Night: David Harbour plays Santa Claus stuck in a Die Hard siege situation with some Home Alone slapstick. I like David Harbour. I've even watched his Hot Ones episode. This though, not so great. It's kind of depressing how kids movies are made for adults now. All the beats, emotional moments etc in this film belong in a kids film but it's hugely violent and features very coarse language which will bar entry for the little fellas.

Theres just nothing clever here. If you to make a movie this dumb you have to be real smart and the team here is stuck on crass rather than witty.

[Newt Cox]

Clive Barker's the Plague-Not bad. But Clive had almost nothing to do with this. 80s something happens where every kid under 16 goes into a coma. Then 10 years later these coma kids wake up and start killing all the adults. The director swears his cut is great,but that cut isn't out and available. This DVD is decent but nothing great.

National Lampoon RoboDoc-Alan Thicke and Bud Bundy in one of the many DTV National Lampoon comedies from late 90s/early 2000s. Bottom of the barrel. Feels like a way way over long late in the show's run MADTV skit.

[Newt Cox]

We eached picked 2 movies to make a 4 film evening.

1.Linnea Quigley's Horror Workout-New Blu Ray release. Looks great sounds good. I love this piece DTV trash,she wasn't as impressed.

2.Black Friday-2021 Horror/comedy with Bruce Campbell,Michael Jai White and Devon Sawa. Toy store on Thanksgiving night gets invaded by possessed customers. Not bad.

3.Emanuelle in America-The old BU DVD. Totally forgot there was some Hardcore scenes,like I warned her about Pedro,so the oral stuff later on was a surprise.

4.Coonskin-The Xenon DVD. First time viewing for her and I doubt I have seen this more than 4 times before. Feels odd to live in a world where I can get this on DVD legit but not Song of the South.

[BW Haggar]

Don't Panic (Dimensiones ocultas) (Mexico, 1987) 2/10 **

The grown-ass man playing a high school student that runs around in dinosaur pj’s is funny. Especially since the film isn’t playing it for laughs. The man child thing appears to be sincere. There are also some crazy funny scenes like pj boy getting sedated because he had a tantrum and tore up some posters in his room. Scenes with him and his mommy consoling him are truly bizarre. That said, I still wasn’t able to make it to the credits. It’s a slasher devoid of sleaze, with terrible kills and gore. I could see falling in love with this if I had caught it an Alamo Drafthouse with a crowd, but DON’T PANIC is not a film to be watched, alone on the couch.

Yeah, dino PJ-related LOLs aside, I thought this one was far inferior to the two other Ruben Galindo Jr horror films, both of which I enjoyed hugely.

[Andrew Monroe]

That was indeed good shit! Thanks for the recommendation. So good that I didn't even hate Caleb Landry Jones in it. Was also impressed that I didn't know that real veterans were acting in it too until watching the extras.

Well worth a look if you want a modern war movie.

Glad you liked it! Jones is almost unrecognizable in this film. Orlando Bloom is also surprisingly good. Very cool that they cast real vets in the film.

Also great that Milo Gibson (son of Mel) is in the cast and does so well.

[Jason C]

Don't Panic (Dimensiones ocultas) (Mexico, 1987) 2/10 **

The grown-ass man playing a high school student that runs around in dinosaur pj’s is funny. Especially since the film isn’t playing it for laughs. The man child thing appears to be sincere. There are also some crazy funny scenes like pj boy getting sedated because he had a tantrum and tore up some posters in his room. Scenes with him and his mommy consoling him are truly bizarre. That said, I still wasn’t able to make it to the credits. It’s a slasher devoid of sleaze, with terrible kills and gore. I could see falling in love with this if I had caught it an Alamo Drafthouse with a crowd, but DON’T PANIC is not a film to be watched, alone on the couch.

[agent999]

Looking forward to what you think of it! I can't imagine you won't like it.

That was indeed good shit! Thanks for the recommendation. So good that I didn't even hate Caleb Landry Jones in it. Was also impressed that I didn't know that real veterans were acting in it too until watching the extras.

Well worth a look if you want a modern war movie.

[Nabonga]

Full Frontal
I read somewhere that this was a good movie. It’s not. I lasted 50 minutes before tapping out and turning it off. Life’s too short for watching such self-indulgent, aimless crap. If an unknown had approached a studio with this they would’ve been told ”Get the fuck out of here with that shit!”