3 x Mats Helge + David Carradine DVDs coming in October

[Bruce Holecheck Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bruce Holecheck]

Caught the trailer to ANIMAL PROTECTOR at least year's ActionFest in NC -- it was part of Alamo Drafthouse's TRAILER WARS reel (and I assume it'll be on their like-named upcoming release). I had never heard of it before, but it looked like an absolute riot! Glad to hear these made it to disc, while sad to hear they're not new transfers. Looking forward to your report on the third.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

So, Fatal Secret is the last of the three I have now seen, and the only one I had not seen before. This one is presented in widescreen as opposed to the others being in fullscreen. The picture quality is however as shitty as the others.

The films secret, though fatal as it racks up many dead bodies, is not really a secret as it is a cheap way for the filmmakers to get out of coming up with an actual plot. As usual the CIA and KGB is thrown around Jackie Chan style, to make the non existant plot seem a bit more realistic, but in reality it just makes it more stupid and therefore hilarious.

The cast is 100% the same as the earlier two films and this time Carradine, like in animal protector, play the main badguy. It looks like these two films were shot 100% back to back, as all the characters have the exact same hairstyles and for the laides, make-up, as in AP.

The good: The music in this one is pretty nice. And there is a sex scene with the very hot star Camilla Lunden, whom gets plenty of screen time here. (Even though the cast is the exact same as in the earlier films, the sizes of the roles are vastly different. The lead actor in one film gets a small supporting role in another, and vice versa. It is nice to know that noone except Carradine were considered "stars" ) Also, an obviously slightly drunk Carradine lends a bit of un-intentional comedic relief.

the bad: Way to many night scenes. And way to many fucked up accents. Also, this film features none of the big explosions like Animal Protector, nor the cheesy car chase like Mad Bunch, which makes it look as cheap as it really is.

Overall: Sweden needs to stop sending pretentious movies to the festivals and instead focus our governments film program on having old Mats make more cheesy action films. Perhaps Dolph can return home and do the Carradine star cameos?

[Andrew Monroe Pallid Hands Find all posts View Profile Close Andrew Monroe]

Kenny Rogers Lucas is awesome in that picture! I think I need to see MAD BUNCH just based on that still. And he's the villain? Shit, that's chocolate and peanut butter right there.

[Ian Jane Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close Ian Jane]

The cast is 100% the same as the earlier two films and this time Carradine, like in animal protector, play the main badguy. It looks like these two films were shot 100% back to back, as all the characters have the exact same hairstyles and for the laides, make-up, as in AP.

I'm pretty sure they were. When I was doing some writing on Helges I watched these back to back as well and came up with same conclusion. There are just too many similarities for these to have been made very far apart.

[Lars Jacobsson Member Find all posts View Profile Close Lars Jacobsson]

I think i'll wait until these turn up cheap. VERY cheap.

[Ian Jane Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close Ian Jane]

Kenny Rogers Lucas is awesome in that picture! I think I need to see MAD BUNCH just based on that still. And he's the villain? Shit, that's chocolate and peanut butter right there.

The same guy pops up in Russian Ninja and Ninja Mission if I remember correctly.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

Swedish government TV aired a documentary on Mast Helge tonight, titeled: "The director who dissapeared - the story of the ninja mission"

I will give a Quick summary:
Mats Helge Olsson got shitty grades in school, and started making films with friends, like a Swedish western shot at a theme park. The film bombed. Yet, he was hired as a producer for the mideval drama "Sverige í¥ Svenskarna" directed and starring Swedens Kalus Kinski. Per Oscarsson. It is to this day the most expensive Movie ever shot in this country. The film bombed horribly, and Mats got sued and ended up in Prison for fraud.

After his release he by chance meets Swedish ninjitsu Bo F Munthe at the office of film distributor Charles Aperia (The VHS era had hit and cheap action and martial arts were all the rage). They agree to make a film, and for some unexplained reason they get polish actors in the two lead roles, and some polish crew. The poles are faked into Sweden on bullshit screenplays sent to the then communist polish film office, and shooting commences.

The film bombs at the Swedish box office and Mats is ridiculed in the papers, who have a thing for mocking him ever since his first flop.

Suddenly, the Ninja Mission gets a theatrical release in the USA and is doing good business. It then opens all around the World and tops VHS charts left and right.

Mats is still ridiculed, but with his newfound success he starts a mini studio in his hometown with the aim to make a cheap actioner a week. The Revenue from the Ninja Mission still has not arrived when he starts off, but he keeps spritits high and everyone is busy working on several films at a time. No scripts exist, all is in Mats Helges head. They manage to get David Carradine to come over, and unbeknownst to him, his one film acting engagement is spread into 3 films.

Only a handfull of films are made though, as the Money for the Ninja Mission never arrives. No one knows where it Went or what deals were made. One actor says "The only Money I made of that film is some government payroll guarantee after a bankrupcy, like any worker at any job that bankrupts"

Mats is forced to shut down his operation, still hunted by the IRS etc for his debts from his earlier failures.

One coworker says "If he only had gotten the finances to continue, he would have been Swedens Peter Jackson and his studio would be the biggest in the country"

Mats last public appearance is at the 2000 Swedish film Awards where he is seen in the audience, applauding when his former editor Anders Nilsson (Andrew Nelson in the credits for most films they did together) is winning an Award for best film.

After that he dissapears and everyone who ever worked with him loses touch with him. It is not known where he lives or what he does, but he is still alive as the filmmakers of this documentary get a call on the phone from him where he declines to be part of their film.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

Here is a link for the film:

http://www.svtplay.se/video/1461354/...-ninja-mission

Finally something Worth seeing on public service.

[Ian Jane Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close Ian Jane]

I can't get it to play. Does it have Eng. audio or subs by some small miracle of fate? Because I need this.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

It has nothing of the kind sadly. Only Swedish audio. I am praying to god for this to get some kind of DVD release or something.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

I hope you can get the video to play, as despite it being in gibberish to you, they show some old behind the scenes stuff and some of the locations of the ninja mission as they look today. Some old dude have most of the military trucks in a barn, still with bulletholes and painted with the red commie star and Everything....

[Ian Jane Administrator Find all posts View Profile Close Ian Jane]

Nope, won't play for me. Dammit. Someone should subtitle it and put it up online if no one puts out a DVD.

[The Silly Swede Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Silly Swede]

After the documentary (which apparently everyone saw) the OOP Ninja Mission shitty dodgy DVD is now going for as much as $30-35 online. I would not sell my copy even for $300, as I consider it to be a cherished posession.