Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Armed Response (Platinum Disc Corporation) DVD Review

Collapse
X
Collapse
  •  
    Ian Jane
    Administrator

  • Armed Response (Platinum Disc Corporation) DVD Review



    Armed Response (Platinum Disc Corporation) DVD Review
    Released by: Platinum Disc Corporation
    Released on: January 7th, 2003.
    Director: Fred Olen Ray
    Cast: Lee Van Cleef, David Carradine, Michael Berryman, Conan Lee, Mako, Laurene Landon, Ross Hagen, Dick Miller
    Year: 1986
    Purchase From Amazon

    Armed Response - Movie Review:

    All through his career, Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, Day Of Anger) was cast in some pretty bad movies. He was unjustly typecast and despite his charismatic on screen presence, he rarely got the leading roles, probably because his rat-like features and gravelly voice didn't give him the hunky quality that casting directors usually seek out for movies. The same thing can be said about Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes). His unusual looks have kept him working, but he's usually relegated to playing either villains or supporting characters. Likewise, David Carradine will forever be remembered not for the ton of movies that the man has appeared in, but for playing Caine on the Kung Fu TV series.

    So what do you get when the director of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Fred Olen Ray assembles these three titans of b-moviedom and casts them along such oft-seen-but-rarely-appreciated bit part actors like Conan Lee (Ninja Warriors, Gymkata), and Mako (the guy who played the wizard in Conan The Barbarian)? Armed Response, that's what!

    Clay Roth (David Goss) and Cory Thorton (Ross Hagen of Angel's Wild Women) are a pair of private eyes that take on a job from a Japanese mobster named Akira Tanaka (Mako). He wants them to get a statue that he desperately needs to avoid a gang war with the opposing Chinese mob boss, Hong. The private eyes get the statue for them but Cory decides he just might not give it back to the Japanese. Clay ends up got shot but runs off with the statue while Cory splits with the cash.

    Clay struggles to get to his father's place, but when his father, Burt (Lee Van Cleef), an ex-police officer, finds him, Clay dies. Burt finds the statue in Clay's hands and decides that rather than go to the police; he's going to get his Vietnam vet son Jim (David Carradine) to help him find out what happened on their own.

    Tanaka tracks the statue down and decides to take down the Roth family with the help of his mammoth bodyguard, F.C. (Michael Berryman), who hands out a fortune cookie to you just before he kills you. So it's up to Clay and Jim to take the law into their own hands, save the family, and clean up the streets by whatever means necessary.

    Made shortly before his death, Armed Response is not Lee Van Cleef's shining moment. It isn't Carradine's either. In fact, it's nobody's shining moment at all. It's goofy as can be with really bad 'tough guy' dialogue, poorly choreographed fight scenes, ridiculous costumes and truly awful music. But it does have some great on screen chemistry and an all-star b-action hero line up that is truly too good to pass up. You wanna see David Carradine relive the horrors of the Vietnam war through some flashbacks? Check. You wanna see Lee Van Cleef beat the crap out of a biker using some pretty slow moving karate skills? It's here. What about Michael Berryman running around in a black combat suit with a red belt that looks like something Wonder Woman would be embarrassed to have in her wardrobe? That's here too. Throw in some cliché' Asian villains, a bit of gratuitous nudity and some senseless violence and you've got yourself a movie that entertains for all the wrong reasons - but does a very good job of it. Not enough? Laurene Landon and Dick Miller show up here too!

    You might call Armed Response a guilty pleasure, but I call Armed Response fucking great.

    Armed Response - DVD Review:

    Obviously culled from a VHS source, the fullframe presentation is murky and a little washed out. Compression artifacts plague some of the darker scenes and there is video noise present in a few spots. It's watchable, but not much more than that.

    The Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack is sufficient. It's not going to give your system any kind of work out, but dialogue is clean and clear and isn't overshadowed by the sound effects or cheesy background score.

    Hidden underneath what has got to be one of the ugliest DVD menus I've ever seen is a beat up looking trailer and some brief text bios - but that's it as far as extra features go.

    Armed Response- The Final Word:

    Armed Response is pretty corny, but there are just enough golden moments in the film to give it a minor recommendation to those who appreciate bad action movies and/or die hard Van Cleef fans - because it's fucking awesome.




























































    • Andrew Monroe
      #1
      Andrew Monroe
      Pallid Hands
      Andrew Monroe commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes. this movie is goofy as hell but it's also wildly entertaining! It's the stuff dreams are made of, haha. Thanks for the review.

    • Matt H.
      #2
      Matt H.
      Senior Member
      Matt H. commented
      Editing a comment
      My problem with this flick is there's hardly any Laurene Landon. I mean, who hires Landon and only uses her for a cameo? Unforgivable.
    Posting comments is disabled.

Latest Articles

Collapse

  • Cruel Britannia: Three Killer Thrillers From The UK (Vinegar Syndrome) Blu-ray Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: Vinegar Syndrome
    Released on: October 29th, 2024.
    Director: Ted Hooker, Jack Cardiff, Freddie Francis
    Cast: Mike Raven, James Bolam, Mary Maude, James Booth, Francesca Annis, Jack Palance, Diana Dors, Julie Ege
    Year: 1971/1973/1974
    Purchase From Amazon

    Cruel Britannia: Three Killer Thrillers From The UK – Movie Review:

    Vinegar offers up a triple feature of vintage British horror with their two-disc Cruel Britania
    ...
    02-11-2025, 01:43 PM
  • Heretic (A24) UHD Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: A24
    Released on: January 21st, 2025.
    Director: Scott Beck, Bryan Woods
    Cast: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East
    Year: 2024
    Purchase From Amazon

    Heretic – Movie Review:

    Sister Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Sister Paxton (Chloe East) are two missionaries in service of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints who knock on the door of a quirky middle-aged man named Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant) who seems only too happy
    ...
    02-07-2025, 10:33 AM
  • Satan War (AGFA) Blu-ray Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: AGFA
    Released on: January 28th, 2025.
    Director: Bart La Rue
    Cast: Sally Schermerhorn, Jimmy Drankovitch, Jane August
    Year: 1979
    Purchase From Amazon

    Satan War – Movie Review:

    Written and directed by Texas actor Bart La Rue, 1979’s Satan War is a movie. Yes indeed, it’s a movie. One opens with some psychedelic swirling effects that then follows a newlywed couple, Bill Foster (Jimmy Drankovitch) and his blushing
    ...
    01-31-2025, 05:33 PM
  • Love & Crime (88 Films) Blu-ray Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: 88 Films
    Released on: January 21st, 2025.
    Director: Teruo Ishii
    Cast: Sada Abe, Mitsuko Aoi, Rika Fujie
    Year: 1969
    Purchase From Amazon

    Love & Crime – Movie Review:

    Teruo Ishii’s 1969 Toei film, Love & Crime, is an anthology film of sorts that offers up a quartet of short stories based on real-life crimes against women in Japan over the years. The film opens with Dr. Murase (Teruo Yoshida), a medical examiner,
    ...
    01-30-2025, 06:48 PM
  • Asylum Of Terror (VHSHitfest) Blu-ray Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: VHSHitfest
    Released on: October 29th, 2024.
    Director: George Demick
    Cast: Jason Petty, Melissa Young, Kerry Wade
    Year: 1998
    Purchase From Amazon

    Asylum Of Terror – Movie Review:

    Teenaged dudes Dean (Jason Petty), Mark (Sixx Williams) and a few of their less memorable pals set out to visit Death Row, a one-time prison facility for the criminally insane that has been converted into a haunted house attraction. When they
    ...
    01-30-2025, 06:40 PM
  • Disembodied (Bleeding Skull) UHD/Blu-ray Review
    Ian Jane
    Administrator
    by Ian Jane


    Released by: Bleeding Skull
    Released on: February 24th, 2025.
    Director: William Kersten
    Cast: Anastasia Woolverton, Hannah Nease
    Year: 1998
    Purchase From Amazon

    Disembodied – Movie Review:

    Written and directed by William Kersten in 1998, Disembodied, also known as Aberration (which is what is on the title card used for the feature presentation version of the movie on this release) opens with a scene where a man wanders into the
    ...
    01-29-2025, 06:53 PM
Working...
X