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Storefront Theater Collection: All Night At The Bizarre Art Theatre

    Ian Jane

  • Storefront Theater Collection: All Night At The Bizarre Art Theatre

    Released by: Vinegar Syndrome
    Released on: October 25th, 2016.
    Director: Various
    Cast: Various
    Year: Various
    Purchase From Amazon

    The Movies:

    Twelve dirty movies? That's a lot of smut! And being the devout perverts that we are around these here parts, we're going to cover each and every one of them, properly. Most of these run an hour or so, with the really short ones noted below.


    The Geek:

    This one follows a group of campers (three men - one of whom is Ric Lutze - and three women - one of whom is Lynn Holmes) that heads off into the woods - what woods? Who knows. The opening credits tell us this was 'filmed on location in Oregon, Washington and Alberta, Canada.' We then learn that there is the legend of a mammoth being, a grotesque being, lurking about these woods - this thing is known as The Geek. A narrator then tells us we're about to learn about the sasquatch - part man, but mostly beast! Is the sasquatch a mutated version of ancient man? Are we really the masters of the Earth like we think we are? So many questions!

    We spend the first eight minutes walking through the woods and then a clearing full of some stock footage deer before the uncredited director, who seems to really like his zoom lens, shows us the excitement of building a camp site! After that, one pair of hikers wanders off and has sex in the grass. The girl has a lot of pimples but the leather go-go boots are a nice touch (and practical for hiking). After that the leader of their group warns the rest that the area is uncharted before taking Holmes back to his tent for a drink that inevitably leads to sex. After that he tells her how his fifteen year old sister ran off and got married, which inspires her to take good care of him.

    The next day they head back out into the wilderness unaware that they are being stalked by that which they hope to discover - The Geek! He's played by a guy in a suit that looks like it was made out of carpet. His dong is hanging out of the crotch of this suit and he grunts and growls and then decides he wants to get it on with one of the girls. He rapes her while one of the guys watches and after he finishes the beast just sort of wanders away. The rest of the group is running around with a film camera trying to get some footage of The Geek. When the monster shows up and one of the girls falls down, he bones her too. Once he's done, the guys fight him. It's not a good fight though, he just sort of shoves them around a bit. It's mostly over after that, everyone just sort of walks away.

    What the fuck?

    Hotter Than Hell:

    This one stars 'Paul Dodge' along with all your favorites like Jane Fondler, Elizabeth Tail, Raquel Belch, Englebert Humpsalot, Ronald Regalass, Fanny Fiddler and Lotta Goodbody. It was produced and directed by Al Mamar, Ben Cockright worked the camera, Dick Prixon edited the thing and good ol' Rusty Pecker handled the sound. You know you're in good hands with credits like that.

    The film opens with Satan himself laughing maniacally as the fires of Hell burn all around him. What's so funny? Maybe the naked chicks that his two sons have found. Satan wears a furry pink suit and laughs a lot, drinking out of a big goblet and sitting in a fancy chair while his kids whip chicks and stick things in them. Then they make the chicks get it on with each other while they watch.

    This isn't quite enough for Satan, however, as he decides to send his two goofball sons back to Earth to corrupt some women and send them to Hell so that he can get his kicks. First we see a pretty blonde gal having a bath while her brunette roommate gets dressed and complains that her boyfriend Steve 'sure is a tit man.' One of the son's pops into the dressing room, introducing himself as a devil and magically making his clothes disappear. Blondie gets out of the bath and joins in on the sex that's started without her. Then it turns into a four way. From there, the sons of Satan head to a fancy house, a mansion even, where a lady resides. One of the dude's pops out of the fireplace and talks her into having a drink and from there, they have sex. After that we get some weird nude, splayed go-go dancing footage that segues into a girl examining herself with a mirror. She starts to diddle herself and the guys show up and bang her. As it comes to a close a girl takes one of the guys up on his offer to try it 'Arab style' which seems to involve sitting on top of a coin operated horsy ride in a wood paneled room and groaning a lot while sitar music plays in the background. It all ends back where it started - in Hell - where everyone agrees that the world is corrupt and then Satan bangs one of the girls himself, laughing maniacally as he goes at it of course.

    This feature is pretty funny and the scenes that take place in Hell are awesome because they kind of look like what you think Hell would look like if it were portrayed in a high school drama class or something. Also Satan's costume and incessant laughing is awesome.

    House Of DeSade:

    This 1976 Joe Davian feature features an early appearance from Vanessa Del Rio starring alongside David Williams. The story follows a group of swingers who unwittingly unleash the spirit of the true Marquis De Sade (played by some nutjob in a black bondage mask) during a séance. This, of course, leads to all manner of degrading and violent sex. Despite the hardcore sex throughout the film, Davian was making a horror film (or at least a cheap porno film with horror movie elements) this time out and you know it from the time the eerie music hits the screen during the opening credits. This is solidified when the action moves from various inner city apartments to a creepy, creaky old house.

    Vanessa gets lead around with a collar on, acting like a dog as she's slapped in the face by her partner's wang and then later on she gets intimate with a cucumber which is then peeled using a vegetable peeler while still inserted inside of her! Once it's peeled, it's sliced and fed to her. In a later scene she has her supple ass beaten with nunchucks as she screams 'oooo pain' while De Sade holds her down. She also finds herself getting nipple clamped again. She gets her nipples clamped a lot. It all ends with a big orgy with lots of toys and leather and slapping and groaning before the Marquis himself reveals his true identity!

    The plot is really thin on this one, it's pretty much wall to wall sex with a heavy BDSM element to it. Having said that, it's rough and tough and delivered in that no-nonsense style that those familiar with Davian's work will definitely recognize. And hey, you can't go wrong with Vanessa Del Rio in her prime. You won't forget that cucumber scene any time soon either.

    The Sorceress:

    Up next, we get a feature starring Andrea True and Linda L'Amour along with L'il Annie and Chris Kissen. The directing credit goes to Jon Bal (the IMDB says Louis Alexander). The movie opens with a scene where Lynn Stevens and her boyfriend (Jack Webb) are acting out a fantasy in their kitchen. This involves screwing near the sink and getting boned on top of the stuff. Hope those burners weren't on, that would hurt. She speaks in broken Spanish as she gets stuffed 'Muy Bueno!' and then he does a pretty fancy piledriver move on her as she lays back on the floor with her legs spread.

    After that, they plan their next fantasy wherein they'll have some people over and she'll pretend to be a palm reader. This will somehow lead to sex? They setup a spooky room for her to do this in and she takes on her first client. She reads his fortune and then he gets to have rough sex with a girl who has really curly hair (Marty Stuart) while someone off to the side snaps photographs. Meanwhile, back in the kitchen the original couple get into more role playing as she decides to pretend to be a French whore at his request. Next up, another palm reading where she talks to some guy for a few minutes who then gets to go at it with Juliet Jay while that music from The Exorcist, Tubular Bells, plays in the background. Jay is all made up like jailbait, complete with a big lollipop. This scene is more than a little bit creepy. Her next client is Andrea True. She arrives with a stuffed rabbit named Boo and tells our fortune teller about problems with her husband, Joe Rock Superstar, complaining that he's 'a fag!' This is clearly a dig at the Shaun Costello movie of the same name, in which Marc Stevens, who was gay in his personal life, played the title role. She doesn't like men, she tells her, so the solution? Obviously lesbian sex, which is exactly what happens atop the glass table in the reading room.

    With that over with, Eric Edwards - a guy from across the street who has been 'watching you for days' shows up. She reads his palm and then he rapes her, kills her and stuffs her in a coffin bringing the movie to a very abrupt ending without resolving the whole 'guy taking pictures' angle or really explaining much of anything.

    The palm reading scenes are great, but the plot here gets very, very lost - this couple is into role playing but also running a palm reading scheme that the husband photographs but never follows up on, then she dies? What?


    Cult Of The Scorpion:

    A camera pans up a woman's leg and the words 'The Scorpion' are written there in lipstick. A second later and a woman is complaining about her poor sister. A guy talks on the phone, he's Mr. Conrad, a detective with a Dennis The Menace tattoo and the woman with the poor sister needs his help. Before we get to that, this detective has to have sex with a dark haired lady who may or may not be his secretary. He complements her bra and asks her if she's 'getting psychedelic.' She has a scorpion tattoo above her pelvis.

    The woman who needed his help shows up just as they finished screwing. She explains how she's trying to find her half-sister, the cops have been no help. She tells him how she found an old box in the attic containing some chains and some sex toys. She has no idea what they are or what they're for. This stuff belonged to the missing sister who has been gone for over two weeks. They read her diary and get some clues - she may have been involved with an underground secret society called The Cult Of The Scorpion! Before you know it Conrad has her naked and they're screwing on the couch. After that, she needs to be initiated into the club so that they can make the contacts they need. This happens by our heroine servicing some guy in a room with a red satin sheet hanging on the wall and then having lesbian sex with a dark haired lady that she describes as 'really great!' Elsewhere, Conrad has sex with a black chick (also sporting a scorpion tattoo), then there's a three way and after that, well, they find the sister who winds up getting it on with Conrad while terrible folk music plays in the background. Hey, at least they found her.

    A fairly standard detective story tries to turn into a tale of a cult but never quite gets there. It's amusing to watch them try though and hey, check out that guy's Dennis The Menace tattoo, that's fucking awesome.

    Dr. Sexual & Mr. Hyde:

    Moving right along, our next feature takes place in a spooky castle owned by Dr. Jekyll. Here a woman lies on a bed and masturbates while spooky music plays. Jekyll and his assistant, Margaret, observe from another room. Jekyll is okay with all of this but his assistant says she'll go to Hell for this. This is all part of his experiments wherein he's trying to figure out how body chemistry affects human sexuality. He takes a potion and, after the camera roams about the lab a bit, transforms into Mr. Hyde at which point he gives pretty Margaret a top notch rogering.

    Elsewhere in the castle there is a red room where a woman whips a man chained to the wall. There's also a mirrored room where lesbians have sex. Up in the lab, our good doctor teaches an innocent young lady about the birds and the bees first with a book and then with some action, telling her 'doctor knows what's best.' After that they head into the mirror room and join in with the lesbians while upstairs a guy with giant sideburns pokes about. He finds them all going at it and joins in. Jekyll goes at it with that girl again as the organ music goes nuts, and then, out of his serum, struggles to find more. We won't ruin the twist ending!

    This one is a kick. The sex is alright and the girls all look good here. The lab setting has got lots of awesome props like skulls and old books and a stuffed raven and some other assorted oddities. You can kind of see where it's headed not too far into things but the big finale might take you by surprise.

    Rites Of Uranus:

    The high priest of the temple of love, who speaks only through a weird horn on the wall, declares that a girl named Sarah may enter! She is to be taken and instructed in… The Rites Of Uranus! From here, goofballs in cloaks take the gal into their chamber and where various people stick things up each other's arseholes while people off camera make goofy chants - “Hail to Uranus! Enter my dark passage!”

    First up a girl gets a lit candle stuck up there while a bunch of dudes stand around her and stroke off. Then a few oily people have sex while some funk plays on the soundtrack. Mike Ranger gets in on this, getting it on with a blonde, then there's a three-way, a girl in a dungeon, a guy in a red cloak, and a great scene where the cultists head out, dressed in their cloaks, onto the streets to hand out propaganda to the general public. This leads to a new recruit arriving but not before we get a three way on a water bed complete with 'Hail to Uranaus' chants during the buggery scene. The new recruit shows up, the high priest tells her, through his horn, to disrobe. She obliges and then we see some of the kinky rituals that follow, one of which involves a dildo attached to a sword!

    Before its' all over we journey into the high priest's chamber, witness the initiation of the new girl who, obviously, asks for Uranus to enter her dark passage… and then it just sort of ends.

    There's not much of a plot here at all, mostly sex and much of it butt-focused, but anytime you introduce deviant rituals into a porno movie you're onto something and there's plenty of that going on here. Why does the high priest only talk through a horn in the wall???

    Waltz Of The Bat:

    Directed in 1972 by Steve Brown, opens with a great scene which a guy clad in a top hat and a cape runs around San Francisco looking for a hooker! He talks to a hippy chick who doesn't want anything to do with him until he hands her a crumpled up fifty dollar bill. They head back to his place and after a few drinks, they get it on. After they do the deed he explains to the camera that in 1881 he waltzed with a princess named The Bee (she's in all the B movies!) and it was a magical night. Ever since then, this one hundred and forty year old man has had a magical power over women - “After I fuck them, I own them.” See, once he owns them, he pimps them out for cash and profit.

    He sends a trick named Rosie out to take on a few jobs. Meanwhile, The Bee tells us her side of the story, how he used his powers and how he tricked her. She gave him these powers and hopes to take them back from him! In order to do that she'll have to have sex with him by midnight. Rosie gets it on with a girl with a British accent and a guy named Leo who likes to wear her underwear while The Bat indoctrinates another young woman into his harem by screwing her. Meanwhile, The Bee has sex with two guys dressed as native American Indians who grunt at her and wear weird headdresses. From there - The Bee appears in The Bat's house! She gets him turned on and screws him - but will she succeed in removing his magical abilities and turning him to dust?

    This is played for laughs but it's still pretty bizarre. The Bee stays in costume even when getting it on, as does The Bat. Why she winds up with two Indian guys is anyone's guess and the whole premise behind it is insane, but this is pretty entertaining.


    Come Deadly:

    Directed by Sam Weston in 1973, Come Deadly begins with a group of young men and women working on their upcoming stage production of William Shakespeare's The Taming Of The Shrew. Unbeknownst to our burgeoning cast, however, is that directly above them in the theater's loft one of their own is being raped by a grunting dude in a black hippie hat wearing gardening gloves. Once he's had his way, he strangles the poor girl.

    Enter a few cops, who seem rather perplexed by this case which they think may be related to a few similar attacks that have happened recently. One of the cops decides he can best catch the maniac by going undercover and posing as one of the stage actors, and before you know it, he and two of the actresses in the cast are going at it like jack rabbits. Shortly after he does the horizontal bop with one of the girls, the maniac shows up and strangles the poor thing. More upset than ever before, our hero decides he can trap the killer by using one of the pretty, young actresses as bait. He leaves her sitting all alone, out in plain view where the killer can definitely see her, and he waits…

    Awkwardly overacted from start to finish, this creaky murder mystery isn't exactly an edge of your seat thriller but it is a fun little movie with a couple of interesting cast members. Look for Keith Erickson and pretty blonde Nina Fause in the cast, both quasi-recognizable adult film stars of the era here playing members of the theater group being held in the grip of fear by our hat loving antagonist. The picture moves along at a good pace and while it isn't as sleazy or nasty as the first feature, it's still rough enough to matter and goofy enough to entertain. Those unaccustomed to seventies era grooming habits might be a little bit put off by the copious amount of the hair down there on display but the girls are reasonably cute.

    The kill scenes are mild and the story isn't good enough to really grip you, but if you dig that bad acting, awkward cinematography, wonky wardrobe and generally enjoyable ineptitude that seventies smut tends to offer en masse, you should have a good time with it. It's goofy, but it's a reasonably entertaining smut film.


    Gothic organ music opens a scene where we peer at a big old house through a chain link fence. Inside a group of young women who should be in reform school are doing time in this house instead. We flash to a lesbian scene with a white chick and a black chick and then we see two white chicks going at it. The woman in charge of all of this chastises a girl named Sandy for checking out one of the other girls over dinner.

    A new girl named Suzanne is dropped off at this 'school' by her parents. She doesn't show them enough respect and she needs discipline! As Susan drops her stuff off in her new room, the dad talks to the headmistress, Mrs. Wellington, about the problems they've had with their daughter. She tells him the school is full, but he solves that problem by writing her a healthy check. After that Wellington talks to her son about some of his naughty behavior. She found a girl's undergarments in his room - she reminds him these girls are bad news and then convinces him he doesn't need bad girls because she has her instead. This leads to the incest scene we knew was coming as they go at it on a really noisy leather couch. That's not enough though, as we later see him boning that black girl and then the Asian chick. From there? A white girl gets boned on the bathroom floor. When that girl gets strangled with a plastic bag, however, things get complicated. Before it's all over Mrs. Wellington will spank a pretty student which will lead to lesbian sex and the maniac's identity will be revealed!

    This doesn't deviate from the girls' school cliché too much until the killer is introduced. Once he is, it turns into a hokey thriller of sorts. The filmmakers get an A for effort for at least trying something different with the ending and the girl who gets screwed on the bathroom floor is super cute.

    Daughters Of Darkness:

    A university student named Anthony takes San Francisco's BART into the city (which gives us some awesome location footage) where he hopes to find just the right place to finish writing his essay on Satanism! He winds up renting a room from Zenobia (Helen Madigan) who tells him she was expecting him. He settles in for thirty-five bucks a week and hits the typewriter that very same night. What he soon learns is that Zenobia is more than just a pretty face. He hears her doing… something on the other side of his wall. He listens in as she talks to her cat, successfully talking the kitty into licking her nipple (yikes!) - at which point the kitty turns into a hot blonde chick and they have lesbian sex under a pentagram poster on the wall and to the sounds of some pretty bad ass garage rock.

    The next morning, Zenobia comes into his room and finds out what he's researching. They talk and then she gets naked, revealing a lot of very sinister Satanic tattoos all over her body! Meanwhile, some blonde enlists some help from Joey Silvera - she needs his assistance with Anthony. Silvera meets with Zenobia and then a black dude in a turban bones a white chick on the beach. When Anthony starts to realize that there's just a whole lot of weird shit going on - like a couple just going at it in the bathroom - he tries to pack his bags and split. Zenobia's got other ideas, however, and she tells him 'you can't leave us because you will soon become one of us.' She shoots him in the face with a laser or something and tells him he'll soon love Satan too. Then everyone has an orgy in a smoke filled room lit with Christmas lights where Anthony is bound to a cross!

    This one is pretty nutty stuff. Lots of sex in it, to be sure, and some of it fairly unusual, but it's Helen Madigan's weird devil tattoo that sticks with you, especially once you notice that it has been put on her in such a way as to make it look like her hoo-haw is his mouth and her pubes his beard or something like that.

    The Unholy Child:

    Jim Turner directed this in 1973. It starts with a scene where a sailor walks off of his boat, excited to be on shore once again. We cut to two girls making out, and they finish just as there's a knock on the door. It's our sailor, Gabe, and he's here to visit Martha, his little sister. What a surprise for she and her girlfriend Patty (Gabe doesn't know they're lesbians). They catch up and talk about 'life,' how her husband Ben stood by her during some tough times like when their dad died. When he asks her about Stella she quickly changes the subject.

    Then we see a woman running through a park in slow motion. Later, Gabe meets up with an old buddy of his, a bartender named Johnny, unaware that a strange man in a strange coat has been following him. That night Gabe and Johnny head down to the local nudie bar, Score II, for some fun. They watch some strippers and then Johnny finds Stella. She tells him that while he was away, she's… never mind, he doesn't want to know, he wants to marry her! But she can't, she got married while he was in the navy.

    They leave the club with a stripper in tow only to see their car blow up! Someone is trying to kill them. They'll figure that out, but not before they tag team the stripper that Johnny picked up. When they spy the strange man in the strange coat poking about, they set out to figure out who he is and why he's trying to kill Gabe. Does it have something to do with his father's death? We'll find out, maybe, after Gabe screws Patty and Martha yells at him.

    Some pretty cool location footage (EXOTIC LADY WRESTLERS!!!) makes up for the fact that the ending doesn't really make a ton of sense. The pacing here is quirky and awkward but the story is actually fairly engaging, even if the finale (and the identity of the killer) is fairly obvious. The car explosion was clearly done with a toy car and a firecracker but we won't hold that against the film.


    This stuff is all presented fullframe which is how it was shot. Quality is generally pretty good, the titles we've seen before definitely look more colorful and cleaner here than they have in the past (a few of these have popped up via After Hours Cinema, Alpha Blue Archives and Something Weird Video), though plenty of print damage is still present. Colors look good though are sometimes a bit faded. All three discs are well authored, no problems with compression artifacts.

    Dolby Digital Mono tracks are the order of the day, each one in English, there are no alternate language options or subtitles provided. Clary varies from one movie to the next but things sound fine for the most part. The movies demonstrate decent balance, just expect a bit of hiss and the occasional pop.

    There are no extras, just static menus and movie selection but the packaging for this sure is pretty.

    The Final Word:

    Vinegar Syndrome's three disc DVD release of All Night At The Bizarre Art Theatre continues their Storefront Theater line quite nicely. Here you get an even dozen obscure triple X oddities in reasonably nice shape and seemingly uncut and unedited. Plenty of sleazy entertainment to be had here - if this type of stuff is your bag, you already know you want this.

    • Barry M
      Barry M
      Super Fiend
      Barry M commented
      Editing a comment
      Hah, CULT OF THE SCORPION is based on this classic smut, by Robert Sewall. I've seen a couple of different versions of it. Never suspected there was a movie. Excellent!

    • Ian Jane
      Ian Jane
      Ian Jane commented
      Editing a comment
      Ha, that's awesome. Nice find Barry.

    • Maureen Champ
      Maureen Champ
      Maureen Champ commented
      Editing a comment
      That's my jam, I would say. I really really really love adult horrors, even without budget, and this collection was my choice of 2016!
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