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Knights Of Bloodsteel

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    Ian Jane
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  • Knights Of Bloodsteel

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    Released by: Genius Products
    Released on: 9/15/2009
    DVD Release Date: September 15, 2009.
    Director: Philip Spink
    Cast: David James Elliott, Natassja Malthe, Christopher Lloyd Year: 2008
    Purchase From Amazon

    The Movie:

    A made for TV mini-series from the fine folks at RHI Entertainment, Knights Of The Bloodsteel really is a pretty ballsy rip off of The Lord Of The Rings. It doesn't even try to hide that fact, a face made all the more obvious not just by the image used on the cover art on the DVD release, but on the title font as well. Make no bones about it, the marketing department behind this one is hoping your grandmother will get confused and buy it thinking it's one of those Hobbit movies that the funny, chubby bearded guy from New Zealand made.

    As the copy on the back of the packaging states, 'An Epic Battle For World Domination Has Begun.' There's a little more to it than that, however. Set in the mystical magical unheard of world of Mirabillis, an evil warlord named Dragon Eye wants to get his hands on a magical ring, erm, no make that a crucible. He wants to get his hands on a crucible. At any rate, Dragon Eye amasses an army of no-goodniks to go out and get it for him, as once he gets it he'll have absolute power over all in the land.

    Unfortunately for Dragon Eye, the crucible is in the hands of a rag-tag group of amiable and noble warriors made up of an assassin named John (top billed David James Elliott, a hot elf chick named Perfidia (Natissa Malthe doing her best Liv Tyler), a tough but magically inclined goblin named Ber-lak (Dru Viergever), and a roguish thief type guy named Adric (Christopher Jacot). These guys and girls will do everything in their power to make sure that Dragon Eye doesn't get the object of his affections, even though it will mean crossing many dangerous lands and fighting many dangerous (and magical) enemies. Lucky for them they've got a wizard leader guy in the form of the oddly named Tessalink (Christopher Lloyd) who is far more wise and powerful than his humble appearance and pointy Spock ears would have you believe. Oh and there's a magical element native to this land called Bloodsteel that grants those who bear it special super magic powers.

    Take pretty much every fantasy movie cliché you can think of from films like the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, Legend, Labyrinth and Hell, why not Conan the Barbarian and throw it all in a blender. Take away a reasonable budget and throw in a lot of bad computer effects rendering pretty much all of the 'fantastic creatures' that populate this world limp, and you wind up with Knights Of The Bloodsteel. While it's kind of fun to watch the cast run around CGI land playing dress up and fighting Dragon Eyes increasingly nasty beasties, the dialogue is more wooden than a magic staff and the storyline about as original as a photocopy.

    The movie does have plenty of action scenes and even at almost three hours long it isn't boring or really even padded much at all, but it all feels like an imitation because it is one. It also uses the word Bloodsteel far too often. Rarely a minute or two goes by where one character or another doesn't utter 'Bloodsteel' in relation to whatever part of the quest they may happen to be on and while this may sound like a strange point to harp on, it gets irritating. Stand in the mirror and say 'bloodsteel' over and over again with a pair of plastic elf ears on and just try not to punch yourself in the face.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    Knights is presented in a pretty spiffy 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen presentation that features nice color reproduction and a fair bit of detail in the foreground and the background of the image at all times. There's a bit of edge enhancement and at times though there aren't any problems with mpeg compression artifacts or heavy edge enhancement. Skin tones look lifelike and natural and overall the image is pretty decent on this DVD though you might notice a bit of mosquito noise in the background of some scenes if you're inclined to look for it.

    The English language Dolby Digital 5.1 track is of fairly decent quality. The levels are well balanced and there aren't any problems with hiss or distortion to complain about. Dialogue comes through clearly at all times and the score and sound effects are mixed in with the appropriate amount of punch. Don't look for any subtitles, alternate language dubs or closed captioning options, however, as you'll be sorely disappointed.
    The disc has a menu and chapter selection and nothing else.

    The Final Word:


    Knights Of The Bloodsteel is just about as goofy as the title implies. It'll probably appeal to fantasy film junkies just enough to make it worth a watch for them but unless you fall into that category you can probably rest pretty easily at night not having ever bothered with this one. A few inspired set pieces and a fun performance from Lloyd make it watchable, but it nothing to write home about.
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